It Talks!
by nova10
Summary: What if Eva starts talking? A baby angel finds a friend? What will happen? Read if you wanna know ;)
1. Default Chapter

Chapter 1  
  
My first attempt at an Evangelion fic, so bear with me.   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Disclaimer: Dun own Evangelions  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
It all started on a sunny Saturday where NERV personals were given the day off. Unfortunately someone had to keep all the equipment in order. That person was Maya.   
  
"Why the heck did I agree to this?" mumbled Maya, while she was checking the MAGI. A bell rang which indicated lunch break rang.   
  
Maya walked around trying to find a good place to eat lunch. She finally decided to have lunch in front of the Unit-01. Maya began to eat her sandwhich, while flipping the news paper pages to the crossword section. While eating her sandwhich Maya heard what sounded like a yawn. 'That's odd,' thought Maya,'Its just me in here, so who yawned?' Seeing no-one she decided, that she was hearing things.  
  
~~~~5minutes later~~~~~~  
  
Maya already finished her sandwhich, and she has moved on to doing the cross-word in the news paper.   
  
"What word means creating something new and has nine words in it?" said Maya to no-one in particular.  
  
"It is invention," said the voice again."  
  
This time Maya was sure she heard this and looked around spooked out. "Who is here?" yelled Maya.  
  
"I am," said the female voice.  
  
"Show your self," said a scared Maya.  
  
"I'm right in front of you," said the female voice again.  
  
"But the only thing in front of me is the Eva," said Maya.  
  
"Think about it," said the Eva.  
  
"But that means the voice is coming from you."  
  
"Right.' Unfortunatly Maya didn't hear that since she has already blacked out and passed away.   
  
~~~~~~15 minutes later~~~~  
  
"Rise and shine," said the Eva,"I'm sorry about scaring you to death."  
  
"Its alright, do you mind if I find Mr Ikari?" asked Maya.  
  
"I don't mind," said Unit-01. Maya ran like a bat out of hell from the hanger.  
  
~~~~~~command center~~~~~  
  
"Commander Ikari!" yelled Maya.  
  
"Yes, what is it? Is it another angel?" said Gendo in his usual position.  
  
"No, but Unit-01 stared talking," explained Maya.  
  
"It, WHAT," yelled Gendo,"Show me."  
  
Maya lead Gendo in the hanger.  
  
"Hello Gendo its about time," said the Eva.  
  
Gendo blinked and fainted.   
  
"Damn," said Unit-01," this keeps happening!"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~later the day~~~~~~~  
  
"Come on Baka, we're late!," yelled a red-head running at full speed.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~In NERV~~~~~~~~  
  
Once they arrived in NERV they ran straight into the changing rooms, to change into their plug suits. When they left from the changing rooms they were greeted by Gendo himself.  
  
"Shinji we have to talk," said a paling Gendo.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
That is it for today! Did you enjoy it? Did you hate it? Please tell me by reviewing ! 


	2. Issues

Chapter 2  
  
Thanks for the reviews. Even though one of them are a little weird.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Disclaimer: Dun own it damnit  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Shinji we need to talk," said Gendo who looks paler than usual. They went down to a room. "Take a seat," said Gendo." Shinji obeyed, he was worried that he did something to offend him. "I am certain that you know what happened to your mother,"said Gendo. "Yes," was the anwser from Shinji. "Well to tell you the truth Unit-01 started talking this afternoon, and we suspect it to be your mother, you can go up to the Eva cage and take the harmonics test if you want to, but this test won't count."  
  
Shinji was shocked, but happy in the same time. He finally had someone else to talk to. He ran down to the Eva cage and literally jumped into the entry plug.   
  
~~~~~~~~in command center~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Well he's happy," said Misato. "Well at least this is one some in the kid's life that didn't screw up," said Maya.  
  
~~~~~in Unit-01~~~~~~~~~  
  
As soon as Shinji entered the Eva he was greeted by a soft voice. "Hi Shiji," said Yui. "Is it really you," asked Shinji like a little kid. "Course its me honey," replied Yui. "Shinji could you please tell me what happened during the days I was out?". "Sure," was the reply.  
  
~~~~~~~20 minutes later~~~~~~~  
  
"Really!" said an astounded Yui,"Wow I'm so proud of you!" For the first time in Shinji's life he felt proud and truly happy. "You have 20 seconds left before we finish the test," said the com. "Shinji one last thing, how has you dad been treating you? If he feeding you right?" asked Yui. Suddenly all of Shinji's happiness disappeared. "Well he sort of abandoned me a few years ago and-" this was interrupted by a,"HE DID WHAT!" "Harmonics test have finshed." Shinji popped out of the plug and ran off since he knew what was coming next. "GENDO!!"   
  
~~~~~5 minutes later~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Even though Yui and Gendo asked for some privacy no one budged from their spot. They were all transfixed on the arguement between the comander/husband and wife/Eva. "GENDO-NO-BAKA!! WHAT MADE YOU ABANDON HIM?" Gendo's reply was,"I'm sorry." "GOD YOUR STILL A WIMP AFTER SUCH A LONG TIME AND HERE I THOUGHT THAT AFTER BEING THE COMMANDER OF A SECERT ORGANISATIO YOU'LL GROW A SPINE!!."Sorry....." replied Gendo. "  
  
~~~~~~~Misato's POV~~~~~~~~~  
  
They remind me of someone.........  
  
~~~~~Misato's Apartment~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"SHINJI-NO-BAKA!!" boomed Asuka. "I'm sorry," mumbled Shiji. "WHY DID U MIX UP MY LAUNDRY, NOW MY DRESS TURNED PURPLE!!" "Sorry," was the reply. "QUIT BEING A WIMP SHINJI!! I THOUGHT BEING AN EVA PILOT GAVE YOU'LL GROW A SPINE!!"  
  
~~~~~Eva cage~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Now I want you to make it up to him Gendo," commanded Yui/Eva. "Yes, Yui," said Gendo in a pathetically small voice. The people of NERV can only watch in awe as Eva/Yui lectures the seemingly stone-cold commander.  
  
~~~~~~~Maya's POV~~~~~~  
  
.........wow.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~Next day~~~~~~~~~  
  
Shinji is in Gendo's SUV. They decided to go to town to "resolve their differances. In the car it was dead quiet, so Gendo decided to turn on the radio.  
  
Radio: DIE I HATE YOU DIE DIE DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, GO F!@# YOURSELF GO TO-  
  
Gendo:O_O *switches station*  
  
Shinji:O_O  
  
RADIO: I thought you cared.......but I was wrong....you hated me...but let me tell you......I HATE YOU TO DAD.....GO TO HELL......GO TO HELL  
  
Gendo:O_O; *switches station again*  
  
Shinji:......O_O;  
  
Radio:.......you wimp......you're useless......SO GO TO HELL...........IM GONNA KILL YOU SO-  
  
Gendo:*tears away radio and throws it out of the car*  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Some random guy's POV~~~~~~~~~~  
  
It was a sunny day, so he decided to go for a walk. While walking towards the city he heard something so he turned around. The last thing he saw was a radio flying towards him yelling,"DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
How was it plz review :) 


	3. The family talk and Eva02 talks!

Chapter 3  
  
Yay, thanks for all your reviews. I will try and write it longer.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Disclaimer: dun own evangelion  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Eva cage  
  
Yui was standing there talking to some of the personals (some of the mechanics fainted when the Eva started talking). "Does anyone know where my husband is?" ask Yui. "Well, after you gave him that....er...um speech he decided to clear things out with Shinji.  
  
~~~~~~~~~in a random cafe~~~(if you don't like Gendo you may not like this chapter)   
  
Shinji was finishing his banana split, and Gendo was finishing his 50th coffee. "Shinji," started Gendo. "What!," snapped Shinji. Gendo was a little flustered by the sudden out-burst, but he continued," I'm....sorry, truly." "Is that all you have to say? Sorry?," shouted Shinji. The whole cafe suddenly stared at them. Gendo glared back and everyone staring dies and collapes on the ground. (with a glare like that why did they needed Evas?)  
  
~~~~~~NERV command center~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Sir!" said Maya, "Observation point has detected a sudden earthquake measuring 2.5 on the ritcher scale!"  
  
~~~~~~~Back in the cafe~~~~~~~~  
  
"Look, Shinji I cared about you very much... abandoning you was hard on both of us," said a solem Gendo. "You are only saying that because mum came back!" yelled Shinji. There was now a crowd outside and the police have just arrived (I don't think a cafe full of dead people and a angry son arguing with a suspicious looking dad would easily be ignored). Gendo gets pissed of at the crowd intruding in his "family moment", so he wipes them out with another glare.  
  
~~~~~~~NERV HQ~~~~~~~~  
  
"There is another sudden earthquake measuring 5 on the ritcher scale this time!!"   
  
"Is it an angel?" shouted Misato.  
  
"Cause is unknown.....receiving satalite photo.....HOLY SHIT!!" The photo was a picture of a cafe surrounded by dead bodies. (they can't see Shinji and Gendo since they are in the cafe).  
  
"Call in the troops to investigate the area....send Eva-02 tell Asuka that there may be an angel near there."  
  
~~~~~~~~in cafe~~~~~~~~  
  
"Look Shinji, I loved your mother, a lot," said Gendo with real grief in his voice. "Ever since she got absorbed, my mind was in total chaos, when I saw you that day, I saw Yui's reflection coming from your eyes. I can't work properly since everytime I look at you, you remind me of her. It was at that moment on that I was faced with a cruel choice. You or the fate of humanity," Gendo was almost breaking down completely. "That choice gave me nightmares and it still is untill lately." "I am truly sorry and I am not forcing you to forgive me and if you don't choose to forgive me I understand....son."   
  
Shinji looked at his father walking towards the door, "Wait...I forgive you...faher," said Shinji. Shinji felt as though as a chunk of him that was missing all this time returned to him. That chunk that returned to him was his family. Even though it was odd that his mother is an Eva and that his father is the commander of a secret organisation, netherless their his family. Gendo smiled a happy smile (gasp!), "Thank you son."   
  
As they stepped out of the cafe they were greeted by 500 troops, 50 tanks, what seemed like the whole airforce and 1 Eva.   
  
"Misato its only the baka and the crazy man," said Asuka to the com. "Oh.....err damnit!" was the reply.  
  
~~~~in Eva-02's Plug~~~~  
  
Asuka was sitting there bored. However she noticed something....Shinji and the crazy man were smiling and it could mean only one thing....," No Asuka the world is not going to end, silly girl,"said a voice. "Who's there?" said Asuka a little scared. "Don't tell me you forgot already? Its me...you mother," said Asuka's mother (I don't know Asuka's mother's name so if you know plz tell me). Asuka passed out. "Damn, so Yui was telling the truth......."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
I have to admit, sappy story is not my specialty especially writing it at 1:00 in the morning so this chapter may suck. I'll try and write another (better) chapter as soon as possible. PLZ REVIEW. 


	4. Street fight

Chapter 4  
  
YAY!! Thanks for all the reviews I'm getting, especially the ones who told me the name of Asuka's mother (if I couldn't find the name I would have used 'her mum', 'Asuka's mum' or 'she'), so thanks. Sorry about the long update since scholl just started for me and things are a little busy, but since so many people are enjoying this I'll try and make this as good as possible.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Disclaimer: Dun own Evangelion doo-duh doo-duh......  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
It was a wonderfull day, the sun was shining, the birds were singing...and Asuka is shouting(again). "Put on your shoes faster baka," shouted the red-head. "Hold your horses will ya," said Shinji who seems more happy and confident than ususal. Shinji was taking his time putting on his shoes until he heard something growling behind him. Shinji gulped since he knew what's next.  
  
~~~~~~~~2 secs later~~~~~~~  
  
There was a boom and Shinji sailed through the door.  
  
~~~~~~~~5 mins later~~~~~~~  
  
Asuka was walking down the street, while Shiji was walking behind her holding his behind. "You could avoid the pain by waking up earlier you know," chimed in Asuka who looks content with herself with her last handy work. Shinji was muttering when he decided to check the time. "Oh crap!!," yelled the usually shy boy, "We have two minutes left." "What! Next time don't waste so much time time!," yelled.....well you know who it is. They ran flat out towards the school.  
  
~~~~~~~another random guys POV~~~~  
  
'Damnit man! I'm late man! I'm going at like 120kph in an urban area man! Hey! Whats that?' The driver looks at his windo and sees two teenagers runing faster than his car. "WTF....man!," was his anwser. He looked at his speed than at the window and repeated the proccess twice again. He was just about to drive a little faster when a truck came out of no where and he crashed in to it.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~Back to normal~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Shinji and Asuka was running flat out and was quite unaware of a small explosion and the mushroom cloud resulting from the explosion behind them.   
  
They finally had to stop for a rest (they broke about 10 oylimpic record with that run). "Crap we are not going to make it," panted Asuka. "Do you know a short-cut?" asked Shinji.  
  
Asuka suddenly thought of a short-cut that she has used before and she grabbed Shinji and pulled him there. They ran into an allyway and caught sight of three people in there. "Outta my way," yelled Asuka as she tried to run through them. But they didn't budge.   
  
"I SAID MOVE," said Asuka trying to go past them again. A tall gangster looking guy came between her and the exit.  
  
"I say no lil girl," sneered the man. They ignored Shinji and circled Asuka and started pulling her somewhere. "Where are you taking her?," said Shinji. "Piss off lil boy or I'll ruin your good looks," sneered another guy. They then started pulling her towards somewhere again.   
  
Although Asuka tried to fight to get free she could'nt, since she was not strong enough. Suddenly she heard fast footsteps. Looking back she sees Shinji coming her way at full throttle. Shinji jumped and punch one of the man. "What the F@$&?" said the man. Shinji knocked him to the ground and tried punching him but he was pulled back by one of the gangsters.   
  
One of the gangsters pulled out a baseball bat at hit Shinji, who went flying into the wall getting knocked out.   
  
"NO SHINJI," screamed Asuka. "That arse should have never tried to mess with us," said the head gangster.  
  
~~~~~Shinji's POV~~~~~  
  
......damnit my head hurts....they are getting away with Asuka...NO...must help her...but I'm too weak...at least I'll try...BUT THERE'S NO WAY IN HELL SHE'S GETTING HURT.  
  
~~~~normal POV~~~~  
  
Shinji opens his eyes and catches sight of them culprits (they were five meters away) he stood up and cried an unholy cry (remind you of something?). "What the-," the guy didn't finish whatever he was saying since Shinji rammed into him and procceded to punch him into oblivion. The head gangster takes out his bat again, but before it strikes Shinji, Shinji caught it with one hand and moved out of the way while thrusting it down hitting the person on the ground. There was a thud then a snap then hot blood was hissing out of him, spraying Shinji in the face. Shinji started roaring in a way that would make all beserk-happy Evas proud.  
  
Asuka was frightened, not only for her but for Shinji as well. She has seen him mad, but not this mad before and she was frightened. One moment he was a shy and cute(she will later thinks of this and go "I CALLED HIM CUTE!!") boy then he turned into a blood drenched monster.   
  
The gangster responded by dog piling him then beating him, but the punching and the unholy sound of the roar was still audible.   
  
~~~~~In Eva cage~~~~~  
  
Suddenly Yui and Kyoko woke up from a little nap and said in sync, "Parent senses tingling." They knew something was up, since the last time it happened was either one of two things. Son getting upset=berserk Eva or them getting pissed off= a ree-run of godzilla with Eva replacing Godzilla, which sums up to, an angry mum.  
  
They cautionously slipped off the restraints with no one noticing.   
  
~~~~~In NERV command center 5 mins later~~~~~  
  
"Errr sir," said a mechanic. "Yes?" replied Gendo who is now wearing a Hawaiian shirt. "The Eva is missing," said the mechanic. "Darn," said Gendo," I should have knew it...Yui always does that.""Send helicopters to search for her,"ordered Gendo. 'Anyway how hard is it to find two brightly coloured gaint bio-machines of war?' thought Gendo. The mechanic walked off thinking about things that weren't meant to be eg. incredibly hairy legged people(Gendo) dressed in a Hawaiian shirt with Hawaiian pant (do they have that?).  
  
~~~~~~Where ever the Evas are....~~~~~~~  
  
"It is great that the geo-front is under ground isn't it Yui?" said Kyoko. "Yep....,"  
  
~~~~~~~Allyway~~~~~~~~~  
  
Shinji fought a brave fight even though he successfully downed one person, he was outnumbered, plus he's no Eva.   
  
"Shoulda listen boy," said the ringleader as he proped Shinji against the wall and started beating him.   
  
Asuka was stunned she couldn't move because of the shock of watching her friend getting pummeled after going beserk "unit-01 style". She was sure that Shinji's ribs are broken, and that one arm is broken as well, since it was flopping uselessly. Hope was running out of her. 'Is this the end?' she thought.  
  
A rummbling sound was heard, then two gigantic figures shot up into the sky. (a/n: for those people who likes to point at something big then saying,"Hey look, it is your mum!")   
  
Two giant bio-mechanic constructs of war was peering down at the gangsters. Yui caught sight of her battered son and started growling. She roared (all 'beserk-happy' Evas puts up a 10/10 sign). One of the gangsters pissed his pants....as well as half the city.  
  
~~~~~~At school~~~~~~~  
  
The teacher was teaching when a sound of a familiar roaring was heard. He jumped a little from the shock and he felt something damp. He looked down at his pants. 'Oh boy.....' he thought.  
  
~~~~~~Allyway~~~~~~  
  
Yui is not pleased, a shoulder compartment opened and a prog-knife came out. The result was that the head gangster fainted and the other started crapping his pants since there was nothing else to piss after the first scare.  
  
~~~~~~2 days later~~~~~~~  
  
"Yui may you please tell me when you decide to do something like this," said Gendo worried. "Sorry," said Unit-01 sheepishly, which sounds funny coming from a machine of doom.  
  
"Anyway Yui, Shinji almost killed a guy through massive head injury and bloodlost," said Gendo. "Plus one person is in the hospital for a heart attack, and one person is now in a mental institute for shock treatment. Apperently he can't say anything more than repeating...big...purple...shiny thing(knife)...big purple......."   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Sorry...cliffy...update soon...plz review...sorry...cliffy...update soon...plz review...sorry...cliffy...update soon... plz review...  
  
I wrote this one pretty fast so there may be spelling or grammar mistakes 


	5. The plot thickens

Chapter 5  
  
Sorry for the long wait but school is a killer. Thanks for all your reviews and if you are wondering if this story is going in any particular directions my anwser is yes. This story does have a plot.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Disclaimer:   
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Asuka was watching Shinji's still form in her hospital bed. It has been two weeks now and so far life has been unbearable without him. Besides the fact that Misato has to cook her food, she was really missing him. She snaps into attention however when Shinji's eyes fluttered open.   
  
"My head hurts." A tear streaked down Asuka's face as she relised he was alright. From what she heard he got off pretty bad. A broken arm, a couple of smashed ribs, a fractured leg and very bad bruises. Asuka wiped the tear, since she remembered her promise that she would not cry.  
  
"Asuka?" inquired Shinji. "Yea," replied Asuka. There was silence.   
  
The silence was broken after five minutes when Asuka said," You baka." Shinji smiled,"I guess you are alright then." "Course I am," boosted Asuka,"You don't need to protect me you know. I can handdle everything." Her last sentence had no impact since it was said so quietly."I missed you," whispered Asuka.  
  
~~~~~Eva cage~~~  
  
Yui and Kyoko were surfing around NERV's files. Gendo gave them permission, since they got bored of standing around for so long, so they let them go on the net and NERV's files. Yui stumbles upon a file called cameras. She opened it. More files popped out each labeled from one to a thousand. She picked a random number. Out pops out what Asuka and Shinji are doing live. "Hey Kyoko check it out."  
  
~~~~Infirmary~~~  
  
"When you went off and fought them...I was...afraid," whispered Asuka, "I was afraid that if they kill you I would be lonely again." Another tear streaked through her face, but this time with a gentle hand Shinji wiped it off instead.  
  
~~~~Eva cage~~~  
  
Now Unit-01,02 and even the normally passive 00 crowded around a small(by Eva standard) screen. "I was right, 00 told ya Asuka has a thing for him," said Kyoko. The fact that it doesn't talk much no one knows whos soul is in there. 00 shrugged. "Be quite," whipered Yui.  
  
Gendo saw what's going on so he decided to join them. He casually walked up and said,"Hey Yui." Yui gave him a look. "What is that you are wearing?" asked Unit-01 "Oh this? I recon it looks good so I wear it,"replied Gendo, who is now dressed like Ali-G. Yui pointed at the screen. Gendo looked and smirked. "Oh yea baka-man do you still do that pose that you thought made you look cool?" asked Yui. "Oh you mean the 'Gendo pose' err....um no?" Everyone sweatdropped (including the Evas).  
  
~~~~Infirmary~~~~  
  
"Love you," said Asuka. Shinji smiled and said,"Love you too." It was the only time in Shinji's life where he said something confidently. They no started staring intently at each other.  
  
~~~~Eva cage~~~  
  
Everyone is now in the Eva cage. The atmosphere is like one you would find in a soccer match. Everyone including techs, scientists and even guards who were supposed to be on duty were there, all crowded around a screen. When Asuka and Shinji said they loved each other everyone went ,"awwwwwww."(including Evas) Then they started looking at each other intently everyone held their breath. Closer....closer the suspence is now thinker than an AT field. When they finally kissed everyone cheered as though their favourite team won the match. For some unknown reason some techs got hold of some foam fingers with #1 printed on them...the party began.  
  
~~~~school~~~  
  
Shinji and Asuka's desks are now side by side, and both are grinning hard. Suddenly Asuka recieved a messege.  
  
WhiteAngel: PMS you problem no his  
  
After reading this Asuka decided on something...kill him slow or quick.  
  
~~~~Unknown chamber~~~~  
  
A large white figure is laughing his ass off. Upon closer inspection you will notice it is one of the MP Evas. When NERV overran SEELE they kept them here, and when they started talking and moving on the freewill they were givin unlimited access to the internet to beat down the boredom. 05 as he is called has been tracking messeges and chat from a school. After reading a few off them he notices a username called 'Red Devil' has been harrassing a 'Shy Angle' a lot, so he decide to have his say into it. "Hey," he called over the com,"Check this out." (A/N this bit will be in scipt form)  
  
06: WAZZZZZUPPPP  
  
05: what?  
  
06:WAZZZZZUUUPPP  
  
05: WAZZZZZUPPPP  
  
05:hey guys go on the com!!  
  
07: WAZZZZZUPPPP  
  
08: WAZZZZZUPPPP  
  
09: WAZZZZZUPPPP  
  
10: WAZZZZZUPPPP  
  
11: WAZZZZZUPPPP  
  
12: WAZZZZZUPPPP  
  
13: WAZZZZZUPPPP  
  
All together: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZZUUUUUUUUUUUP!!  
  
~~~~~In an apartment building~~~  
  
A 8 year old girl went home with something following it. When she reached her home, she opened the door. The 'thing' followed her. When her mum came out she was shocked. "Mommy it followed me home...can I keep it?"  
  
The girl was hugging a 3 foot and silver version of the fist angel who attacked Tyoko-3. Angel who seems to like her chittered in happiness.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Well that's it for now. PLZ review. 


	6. Angel Defend

Chapter 6  
  
Wow!! Thanks for all your reviews! I really enjoy reading them, and I also really appreciate it.  
  
~~~~  
  
Disclaimer: d (a/n: in the next few chapters you'll know why there is only one letter here)  
  
~~~~  
  
NERV was in shambles. If someone dropped an N^2 mine it would still look better than this. All over the place were various NERV personals. It looked more like an aftermath of a battle more than a party gone wrong. All over the place were techs(some still wearing foam fingers), scientsists and mechanics spralled all over the place moaning and vomiting. One personal was even lying on a overhead light over 100 meters up(dun roll over!!).   
  
Even the Evas were in bad shape. The cage was badly damaged after Eva-01 drank too much beer and went berserk. Kyoko was on top of Unit-00 after a wrestling match. However the real damage was done by the Eva series who joined the party 5 minutes after it started. Apperantly they attempted break-dancing and they showed why break-dancing is called 'break'-dancing.   
  
Gendo was already knocked out before the party ended, because he drank too much beer and forgot who he was. Judging by his clothing he thought he was a famous rap-singer, so...well...he rapped...horribly and a bottle flew into his head(bad songs can make people do that). As for the bridge bunnies, sub-commander and Ritsuko(spelling?)well...lets say they've seen better days.   
  
However they did win 100,000,000 in America's Funniest Video.  
  
~~~~~~Days later  
  
"Hey does this colour make me look fat?" asked Yui. "No," said Gendo for the 3827292 time. "Really cause I prefer pink," said Yui. 'A pink Eva eh? I can see what will come from that,' thought Gendo.  
  
~~~~~Gendo's Mind  
  
A black Angel was approaching Tyoko-3. It was indestructable. It demolished all the Evas with one energy beam. It was walking slowly towards the Geo-front. "Launch Eva!" A door opened and a large pink Unit-01 came out from it. The angel looked and blinkes,"You got to be kidding....." mutters the angel. The angel died a slow painful death.....it laughed to death. (a/n: all angels except for the one I added was left, by the way)  
  
~~~~~Reality  
  
"No dear it looks fine on you," said Gendo. "Really?" "Really." "Really?" "Really." "Really?" "Really." And so it continues.  
  
~~~~~1 day later  
  
"OH MY GOD," yelled Yui. "SHINJI'S BIRTHDAY IS TOMORROW!!"  
  
~~~~~Meanwhile in America  
  
"Whos Shinji?" The other man shruggs.  
  
~~~~~In an apartment  
  
A little girl was sleeping. She seems to be hugging a teddy bear, if you can see properly it ain't fluffy and cute. It was an angel. Even though it looked a lot like its mother Sachiel(spelling?) it was slightly different. It was silver with a diamond shaped S^2 core. Protecting the core was not the bone in Sachiel's case, it was gold spikes with light blue on it. Its back and elbow has its father's ribbon blades. Although it could be sharp it doesn't want to hurt his friend so he left it soft and rubbery. When he walks the ribbon blades makes it look as though it is wearing a robe. A rustle woke him up. He is hearing something coming from the living room. It carefully reached the door of the bedroom without waking the child. When he opened the door he saw people with black clothing searching the house. Although he was only on Earth for three days he knew what they were doing.   
  
It chittered, the robbers turned to it at once. "What the hell is that?" said robber#1. "Dun know," lets kill it before it wakes the rest of the people up," said robber#2. They pulled out a pistol with a silencer on it and took aimed.   
  
When they pulled the trigger the bullet rebounded off a hexagon field. Right now the robbers were saying all sorts of colourful language, which woke the house up. The child opened the door and saw what was going on. The mother came out as well. When the mother saw what was going on she yelled,"Don't shoot her!" One of the robbers took aim at the mother, but before he fired a sharp ribbon like blade shredded the gun. "WTF!" yelled the robber. His partner and took aim again, but this time at the angel. "NOOOO!" yelled the girl. The gun fired, before the bullet reached its target, the ribbons on the back of the angel folded, creating a cloak which protected it.  
  
The angel counter-attacked by using its beam weapon. A croos shaped fire suddenly erupted on each of the robber's clothing. They ran off in fear.  
  
~~~~~~~~  
  
Short chapter. , I know. Like I said before this story does have a plot, so the stuff about the angel is not some randomly inserted writing. I hoped you enjoyed this and PLZ don't forget to review. 


	7. Birthday Part1

Chapter 7  
  
Thanks for all your reviews. As always they are greatly appreciated. I have two items of news I would like to address. First is that there is a rumour going on that Evangelion is going to be a live action film, from the help from Weta Workshops(the lads who did LoTR). Its supposed to be played in New Zealand (thats where I live!). If anyone know anything more about that please contact me(if you want information you can contact me). Secondly a freaky thing has been going on. I went to a Evangelion quiz and it came out that my personaliy was like Gendo! Amazed I did it again and it came out Shinji. Later I found out it always came out either Shinji or Gendo (I was sticking to the truth in the quiz). I tried another quiz in the web and it was the same and I tried another four times before I gave up. Freaky..... . Anyways that is all irrelevent and I would go on with the fic....  
  
~~~~~  
  
disclaimer: du (read the last chapter if you dun get what I'm going here)  
  
~~~~~  
  
Shinji woke up and automatically started his way to the kitchen. He yawned, because he spent the whole night thinking about Asuka(not perveted ones!). When he opened the door he rubbed his eyes am I still dreaming? There sitting on the table was a sober (shock!) Misato. Misato caught sight of Shinji and told him to sit. "Hey there Shinji. Good day we're having eh?"  
  
"Err, yea anyways I need to make breakfast, before I'm late to school."  
  
"Um Shinji, Asuka is making the breakfast so don't worry about that, as for the the school thing..." Misato pointed at the calander which says clearly 'Saturday'.  
  
"Oh," was the anwser. Something was in his mind, but Shinji doesn't know what it was. Then Shinji thought about what Misato said to him...."ASUKA IS COOKING!!"  
  
~~~~~~Kitchen (at least what's left of it)  
  
The kitchen, which Shinji cleaned after dinner the day before was no more. Shinji came in quietly and observed the surrounding. The red-headed cook didn't notice him for a few reasons. 1). A high amount of swearing 2). Multiple pots bubbling and making wierd noises. Shinji looked up and saw what looked like a pancake or a waffle stuck on the ceiling.   
  
"Um, Asuka?" said Shinji.  
  
Asuka basically jumped out of her skin from the shock. After catching her breath she glared at him.  
  
"Don't scare me like that baka!" yelled Asuka.   
  
Asuka glared at him. Shinji points at the ceiling and said,"Care to explain?"  
  
Asuka pouts and replies," Hey! I'm just trying to be nice for your birthday!"  
  
"My birthday?" said Shinji.  
  
"Wait, please don't tell me you forgot. Geez! I won't be shocked if I see light bending around that dense head of yours!"  
  
This time it was Shinji's turn to pout.   
  
"Awww, you look so cute when you do that," teased Asuka. Shinji replied by blushing. Asuka kissed Shinji on the cheek and said," Get your cute ass to the living room. Breakfast will be done soon."   
  
A blushing Shinji left the disaster area and headed to the living room where Misato was. Asuka resumes cooking with a grin on her face.  
  
~~~~~~Living room  
  
Misato was sitting on the couch watching T.V. Shinji sat beside her.   
  
"Misato why didn't you tell me about the birthday?"  
  
"Well, I thought you would forget, so we wanted to suprise you, so after eating breakfast we are going to the geo-front"  
  
~~~~~~10 minutes later in the dining room  
  
Shinji was staring at his food, and his breakfast was staring back, literally. Even Asuka and Misato didn't touch it. The stuff seemed so poisonous and unedible(spelling?) they could probably kill an agle with it.   
  
"Well, I"m stuffed let's go,"said Misato nervously as her meal started moving. She ran towards the doorway and pulled her shoes on. "Come on!" urged Misato.  
  
"Wait!" yelled Asuka running off. Shinji who isn't seem to fond of spending any time alone with Asuka's creations followed Asuka.  
  
Once the dust cleared Pen-Pen was left alone and forgotten. He looked at the meal Asuka cooked for him. The meal has already crept out of Pen Pen's bowl and started killing Shinji's breakfast. After the shrieking died down it procceded to eat it.  
  
"Wark!"  
  
~~~~~~Geo-front  
  
Misato's car screeched to a halt in front of a bannar saying 'Welcome to Shinji's birthday party".   
  
"Okay guys when the tyre smoke clears, you can pick your way through the wreckage and go ahead first,"said Misato. Shinji and Asuka wasted no time getting well away from the car. The couple than raced through the bannar. They could see nothing, but already they could hear laughter and music.  
  
After running for another minute they finally reached the party. There was a huge bench filled with food, for all the people. Shinji looked around and saw Unit-01 doing various poses for Kentsuke (spelling?). Shinji and Asuka caught up to them.  
  
"Hey Ken."  
  
"Oh, hi Shinji, happy birthday," said the military maniac with a happy grin.  
  
"Hello my little sweet pumpkin," said Yui loud enough for everyone to hear.  
  
"Mum!" said Shinji blushing.  
  
Asuka stepped into the conversation. "Mrs Ikari, do you know where my mom is?" asked Asuka.  
  
"Oh, your mum is over there having a staring contest with Unit-00," she points towards the woods.  
  
"Thanks Mrs Ikari," said Asuka before she ran off dragging Shinji with her.  
  
'Such a sweet child' thought Yui.  
  
~~~~~~Somewhere in the party...  
  
Asuka found her mother, who was staring at Unit-00 intently.   
  
"I will prove four eyes are better than one big one," growled Kyoko unaware of Asuka watching her.  
  
"In your dreams four eyes," retorted Unit-00 who was staring into Unit-02's eyes...well at least one of them.  
  
Shinji and Asuka was sweatdropping. Around the two Evas where nine white Evas who all looks the same. All some them were yelling,"GO GO GO!" as though they were in a football match.  
  
After five minutes Unit-00 lost and Kyoko started doing a victory dance. The white Evas moved away. As they were moving they caught sight of Shinji and Asuka and to their horror procceded to move towards them. "Hi there," said one of them, whose voice sounds strangly familiar," I suppose you are the birthday boy Shinji?"  
  
Shinji nodded. The nine evas gave a big grin, to them it was a friendly gesture, but to Shinji and Asuka it looked quite scary.  
  
"Happy birthday," said all of them at the same time.  
  
Just then Misato poped out from the woods, which separate them from the main party. The Eva who spoke looked at Misato and said in his strangly familiar voice," Hey there my purple angle."  
  
Misato gave him a funny look.  
  
"Aww, did you forget about me already? You just shot me less then a year ago."  
  
Misato paled and fainted.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Well this is the end for now. I'm sorry about the short chapter, but I'm having a minor writer's block, so please feel free to send any ideas to me. By the way I'm writing this on my friend's computer, since mine broke down and the hard drive needs to be re-formated. If the directors of the movie are somehow reading this I WANNA BE IN THE MOVIE. Dude I sound pathetic.... Anywayz please review. 


	8. Birthday Part2

Chapter 7  
  
Sorry for taking so long, but I was busy writing another story. Anyways its good to see people reviewing this story.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Disclaimer: i don't own Evangelion (eh, screw that thing i was doing in the previous disclaimers...)  
  
~~~~~  
  
Shinji was heading back towards the party with Asuka. They would have stayed a little longer with their parents/Eva but Misato's yelling was getting annoying. They reached the party, when everyone noticed them they, bacame quiet. Everyone crowded around Shinji, smiling. Among the people there were the bridge bunnies, Dr Ritsuko, the sub-commander and various other NERV personal. Shinji was getting a little nervous, at least he was until Asuka nudged him on the sides. Shinji immediatly noticed shuffling and grummbling coming from that direction. All the people parted to make a way for a person pushing a trolley. Shinji couldn't really see the person, because of the shadows casted by the trees. But when he did he almost died laughing.  
  
There pushing a trolley with a gigantic cake on it, was none less than the commander of NERV. Gendo was wearing a pink frilly apron. But the oddest (and funniest) thing was that he was wearing what looked like a 'Hello Kitty' bow on his head. All this added with his sun glasses made everyone laugh (even Rei who was sitting on a tree). This stopped when Gendo gave everyone the all powerful 'Gendo Glare(tm)'. When Gendo reached Shinji, Shinji looked at his bow and rised one of his eye-brows.   
  
"Your mum made me do it," grummbled Gendo, whose self respect is slowly withering away, "I forgot how bossy your mother can get."  
  
"I heard that!" thundered Unit-01, who along with the other Evas got close without anyone knowing.  
  
Gendo gave a, "Eep!" and faced Shinji, looking afraid. "Make a wish and blow the candles."  
  
Shinji stood there for a while, then he proceeded to blow the candle.   
  
"Okay," said Asuka in a cheerful voice (too cheerful in fact) , "Lets do something." Everyone was discussing about the next activity until Asuka spoke again. "I know lets play hide and seek!"  
  
"Isn't that a little too childish for us," said a voice out of nowhere. Asuka gave a withering look at the direction where the voice came from and immediatly a whole row of techs fell down with swirly eyes. Shinji gulped.  
  
~~~~~  
  
A moment later Asuka spoke up again," Okay! So the pilots will play tag in their Evas in Tyoko-1 while the rest of you play in the geo-front. But what about you guys?" Asuka is now facing the mass-production Evas.   
  
"Don't worry," said Kaji/Unit-05. "All we need is a phone for what we are doing." Everyone raised an eyebrow.  
  
~~~~~  
  
In the remains of Tokyo-1 there was silence. Everything is normal, except for the fact that there are three bio-mechanical engines of death crouching.   
  
To Asuka her plan is working perfectly. Her 'grand senario' will reach fruitation in a matter of minutes. As everyone was climbing into their plugs Asuka shouts, "Hey guys wanna make this more interesting?"  
  
"How?" said Shinji and Rei in sync, which made Asuka wince.  
  
"Why don't we make a little bet?"  
  
"What sort?"  
  
"Well...the winner gets to choose someone to be their slave for a week," said Asuka as innocently as possible while smiling. Eva-02 smirked.  
  
"Err...okay," accepted both pilots, with endless possiblities' in their minds. Asuka however have something much more sinister planned...  
  
"How will we get a winner?" piped in Shinji.  
  
"Okay, two of us will be the tagger and one of us has to stay away from the tagger for...um...45 minutes. You win by tagging or staying alive for 45 minutes," explained Asuka.  
  
"So who is the victim," asked Shinji. All eyes where suddenly on him.  
  
~~~~~  
  
  
  
Gendo, of all people was the tagger. This wasn't exactly the best moment of his life. 'I might as well do what I did when I was a kid playing the tagger,' thought Gendo. The 'all powerful' commander walked into a clearing and just stood there....  
  
~~~~~  
  
The mass-production Evas somehow managed to get hold of the phone and they are now all perched beside the lake. "Okay Kaji, since you 'found' the phone you get to go first," said Eva-09. Kaji/Eva-05 flashed a toothy grin.   
  
Kaji typed a random phone number and everyone hushed and crowded around the white beast. There was a dail tone.... then it stopped as someone picked up the phone. "Seven days, you will die," growled and hissed Kaji. The other Evas were cracking up next to him. There was silence. Then a voice said, "Welcome to Microsoft....if you want technical help press 1...if you want to know information about our products press 2...."  
  
All the Evas sweatdropped.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Shinji was running wildly through the remains of the former capital. Right behind him were two Evas chasing him frantically. 'This is getting me no where,' thought Rei as she took a hard right.   
  
Asuka grinned as she saw Rei disappear. 'I knew that proto-type could never run as fast as I can,' thought Asuka happily.  
  
Meanwhile in Eva-01.... 'Oh shit!, oh shit,' thought Shinji as he ran through the city. When he found out that Rei had suddenly disappeared worried him even more. "Stay focus Shinji," said Yui, "Don't let Asuka catch you, I doubt you will survive it."  
  
As Shinji was making another turn a gaint figure jumped, so high that it blocked out the sun. The figure of Unit-00 flew through the air... and missed, but instead knocking out Unit-02.  
  
"Damn you stupid wonder girl," hissed Asuka as she pulled her Eva back up, it was too late Shinji is now gone.  
  
Somewhere in the ruined city Shinji sighed in relief. He had his back behind a building. Unknown to Shinji he was also in a dead end. He found out the hard way though when he heard the sounds of a Eva's footstep. Shinji was frozen in fear. All he can do now is to hope that the person is not Asuka.  
  
The footsteps are now close. judging from the shadow it was Rei. Shinji sighed, but he is still not too optimistic about it.  
  
Rei turned and saw Shinji. A smirked is now seen clearly on her face. Rei is 50 meters away from her very own 'Shinji bear'. Her smirk grew even wider as she imagined herself hugging Shinji's body in bed (she ain't thinking of anything perverted by da way). Rei took a step which is soon followed by another. Rei than slowly reached out to 'tag' her price. It was too late. Just before she grabbed him, a pair of red arms shot threw the walls and pulled her struggling victim through it.  
  
In Eva-02 Asuka shouted gleefully,  
  
"Nice to know you Shinji," said Yui as Shinji gulped.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Gendo has been standing there in the same spot for the last 30 minutes. Everyone who is playing the game of tag was around him, but not too close. Gendo looked as though he was sleeping while standing with his eyes open. He is not moving. It was then Maya decided yo check the on commander. When she reached him he remained unmoving. Suddenly his arm shot out and tapped her on the shoulder. "You're it," said the mono-toned man before running off. Maya was stunned.... 'Shit!'  
  
~~~~~  
  
You like? Sorry for long update, plz review! 


	9. The torture begins

Chapter 9  
  
Hey thanks for all the reviews. Anyways before I'm starting this story I have a piece of good and bad news. The good news is that I can now update much more frequently. The bad news is that the reason I could do this was because I fell down two flights of (stone) stairs, which resulted in a broken leg and a broken arm. I am typing this chapter in the hospital on my laptop, since I'm bored out of my mind.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Evangelion...  
  
~~~~~  
  
As soon as Unit-01 and 02 reached the cage, a red fireball was seen going towards the purple giant. Once Asuka reached the plug she tore open the plug (literally) and pulled out her prize. Once the grabbed the unhappy looking Shinji (probably one of the greatest understatement ever) she dragged him to god knows where. The two Evas sweatdropped and sighed.  
  
"Those kids make me feel old", grumbled Kyoko.  
  
"I'm worring more about Shinji right now", said Yui with a worried voice, "I'm afraid to think what would happen to poor Shinji."  
  
"Hmmm, maybe Asuka will have him tied to his bed an-", Kyoko's hentai thoughts were interrupted by a wack in the head by a angry looking Eva/mother.   
  
"Quit having perverted thoughts about my son", said Yui while glaring at Kyoko.  
  
"Hehe...", this was all Kyoko said while backing away from the over-protective mother.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Meanwhile in the geo-front there were nine very distressed Evas. It seemed that evertime they dial a random number to make a prank call they always contact a computerized voice telling them to press a number.   
  
"Okay, guys lets try this again," said Kaji. He typed a random telephone number again and listened.  
  
"Welcome to NERV", said a computer voice. Immediately a vein started throbbing on all the mass production Evas' head. "If you want to file a complaint press 1," the Evas' eyes are twitching (even though they have none) ," If you have sighted something suspicious like an angel press-" before the voice finished the Eva crushed the phone with a irrate look on it. Gone is the evil smily look, it is now replaced by an evil angry twitchy one.  
  
"Grrrr, this is soo annoying", growled one of them, the others nodded in approval. Needless to say, they have to find something to vent their anger.  
  
~~~~~  
  
They scene is now switched to a dark room. The only thing you can now see are several figures shrouded in the darkness.  
  
"What recommendations do you give us number 5," said a cold voice.  
  
"I recommend to hear all your suggestions first, before putting forward mine," said a familiar voice.  
  
"Okay it seemed our senario has failed badly and instead it made us waste a lot of time," said the original voice. The other figures nodds in approval.  
  
"I prepose we switch to plan B," said Number 7  
  
"Under these circumstances I will have to agree," sighed Number 6, as the others nodded again.  
  
"Umm, can we turn on the damn lights?" asked a voice.  
  
"Okay, its started to piss me off anyways." As the lights flick on you can see the Eva Series sitting around a rectangular table (a very big one of course), with a jug of beer next to all of them.  
  
"The dark room thing may look scary, but its annoying and retarded too", sighed Kaji.  
  
"Can't agree more, anyways lets get started with plan B," said Eva 8, the other nodded and leave to get the proper 'equipment'.  
  
~~~~~  
  
In the room where the real SEELE are, all the old men started sneezing.  
  
"Damnit, there must be a cold draft or something in here, Keel do we have to use your basement?" said the dude with the long nose.  
  
"In Japanese culture they believe that if you sneeze, someone is talking behind your back," replied Keel.  
  
"I don't care about Japanese culture, all I care is finishing what we started," said a French looking dude. The others sat in silence, as a rattling noise is heard.  
  
"A9," said another voice.  
  
"Bingo!" shouted Keel.  
  
'Damn!' , thought everyone in the same time.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Asuka reached her apartment in record time, while hauling a lifeless looking Shinji. (I'll get to what Shinji got for his birthday in the next chapter)   
  
"Oi, Shinji", said Asuka, as she shoke Shinji like a broken toy. "You better remember the bet right?" Shinji nodded as more colour disappeared from his face. As Asuka started grinning evily, from thinking of all the possibilities, Shinji cowered in a dark corner where he could hide from a very evil Asuka. When Asuka noticed Shinji she walked up to his shaking form.   
  
Shinji felt something on top of him so he looked up. His frightened blue eyes, meet Asuka's lighter ones as she towered over him.   
  
'Hmmm, Shinji looks quite cute when he does that', thought Asuka with a sly smile. Leaning forward Asuka was reaching out to pull Shinji up. However Shinji thought Asuka was reaching out to harm him so he dogded and ran away. Unfortunatly Asuka crashed into the wall face first. When she stood up while holding her head, she saw Shinji running towards the door.  
  
"Almost...almost", said Shinji as he ran towards the door. Suddenly his world went black as he fell on the floor. When he woke up he saw Asuka sitting on him with a angry look on her face. Shinji squirmed as one of Asuka's fingers hit his sides. Asuka noticed this reaction and her angry face turned into a sly evil one.  
  
"Say, Shinji, are you ticklish?" asked Asuka in a inocent voice.   
  
"Ummm, no?" lied Shinji.  
  
"Wrong answer baka", said Asuka as she procceded to tickle him. Watching Shinji squirm, giggle and beg for mercy only made Asuka's smile larger. 'Aww, he looks SO cute when he does that', thought Asuka as she tickled him in the belly.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Meanwhile Kyoko, Unit-00 and Yui were writing something on a giant piece of paper. Beside them were stacks of videos almost as tall as themselves.  
  
"Will this be enough?" asked Kyoko.  
  
"More than enough, Kyoko and we are going to finish quicker than we thought," reported Yui.  
  
"Our senario will not fail..." mumbled Unit-00. Yui and Kyoko sweatdropped.  
  
~~~~~  
  
In the apartment Shinji managed to break Asuka's grip. He was now running around trying evade a persistent Asuka, who is trying to tickle him to death.   
  
"Asuka, please stop", yelled Shinji as he was caught again by the crazy demon. Asuka just grinned as she repeated the torture that she did 5 minutes ago. Suddenly Shinji went lifeless. Auska thinking that she killed Shinji is now in a state on panic.   
  
"Oh shit, oh shit", yelled Asuka in a very distressed voice. When Asuka calmed down she decided to check his pulse. Asuka sighed in relief as she found out that he is just out cold. Watching his peaceful breathing rythms she decided to carry the sleeping boy into his bed room. As she watched Shinji from the doorway she made up her mind in something. Taking off her nueral connectors, she plocked down onto Shinji's bed beside his serene figure. Asuka kissed him and said, " Goodnight Shinji-Kun."  
  
~~~~~  
  
So what do you think of this chapter? I have to stop since my right arm is starting to hurt (I broke my left you see) Hate it, like it? Please review. 


	10. Movie

Chapter 10  
  
Yay! Even more reviews. Anyways I'm still in hospital, waiting for the operation to fix my knee. As you know yesterday was Halloween and I'm typing this in midnight (you have no idea how scary it is in a dark hospital in Halloween). Anyways earlier this day a lot of interesting things happened. One of this is that my doctor came in wearing that Scream mask (you don't know what more funny, the fact that an old doctor wearing it, or the doctor trying to speak in it). Anyways without further interruptions lets begin the story.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Disclaimer: This the author...I'm not the creator...will the real creator please stand up...please stand up...(its part of a slim shady song)  
  
~~~~~  
  
Asuka snuggled up to the comfortable warmth. Asuka's eyes fluttered open. Seeing Shinji on the same bed as her, she almost jumped out of bed and proceeded to shutdown his manhood forever. Before she did that, she also remembered the other day's events. That memory brought a smile on her smooth angelic face. Grining again, she wrapped her arms around Shinji, waiting for his reaction when he wakes up.  
  
Shinji woke up very slowly. His body was so tired and aching from yesterday's ordeal, it toke an effort even to open his eye lids. When he did though he blushed a bright red. Her face was so near he could smell her sweet breath. What really made him blush was the fact that Asuka's arms were wrapped around his body, hold him very close to her's. Even though his body was protesting against the action, Shinji carefully unwrapped himself from Asuka's clutches. 'Good, one arm is removed', thought Shinji. As Shinji proceeded to the other arm which is wrapped around his waist, a smile appeared on the red-head's lips. 'Wait a second, something is wrong', thought Shinji. Then several seconds later Shinji relises what's going on,' Shit!', he thought. At the same time Asuka whispers,"Gottya."  
  
The red-headed German instantly wraps her other arm on Shinji, and started kissing the wide-eyed Shinji.  
  
~~~~~  
  
"It is Halloween today right?" asked Yui.  
  
"Yep", said a grinning Kyoko," I guess we will need costumes."  
  
"The same applies to 'them' ", replied Yui.  
  
"Lets get cracking", said all the Evas together.  
  
~~~~~  
  
After the 'attack' on Shinji, the 'victim' walked out slowly towards the bathroom. 'I look wasted', thought Shinji as he viewed himself on the mirror. As he fixed himself up he heard screaming from his room. Shinji immediatly ran into his room and saw a distressed Asuka in her school uniform. "We are late baka." Asuka promptly ran out of the apartment dragging Shinji with him with a dust cloud behind them.  
  
~~~~~  
  
The students of the school has seen many things. But never something like this. As some students were walking into the school, many of them noticed the ground shaking and rumbling. Looking back they can see a dust cloud getting nearer...and nearer...and nearer. Suddenly Asuka appears in front of them out of now where as though she teleported. Although she seemed reletivly fine, Shinji did not fare as well, since his face is all white and he could barly stand up.  
  
'What on earth', thought Asuka as she looked around. Around her all staring in her direction were students of the high school. Although everything seemed normal enough, one thing is wrong. Looking at everyone around her, she noticed that everyone was wearing a costume. Piecing these bits of information together she relised what was going on. "Shit its Halloween!" roared Asuka. Not wanting to miss out, she ran back towards the apartment, dragging Shinji who almost finished from getting over the trauma. 'Why me...'  
  
~~~~~  
  
Asuka raced into the apartment to find a suitable costume. She raced into her room trying to something suitable to wear. Finding nothing she slumped onto her bed. It was then that she noticed a box with a note on it. Asuka carefully walked towards the box, as though it is a bomb. Tearing the note from the box she read the letter.  
  
All it said was," For today." Opening the box she found a costume to her taste. Asuka smiled.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Meanwhile in Shinji's room a simular event is happening. When Shinji open the box however he was not as happy at it as Asuka. After sighing and some grumbling he relised he had no choice but to put it on.  
  
~~~~~  
  
"Is the parcel in place", said Kyoko.  
  
"Yep, can't wait to see my Shinji, he is going to look so cool in it", said Unit-01 with stares in her eyes.  
  
After sweatdropping the Evas went back to making their own costumes.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Asuka marvelled herself on the mirror. She was dressed in armor plating, which made her look like a cross between a armored knight and a ninja. The armor pads on her shoulder were red with black outlines, the breastplate was also red, but it has a pattern of a dragon on it. Part of her leg was bear but she was wearing a boot which goes up to her knees. Her arm was also bear, except for the gauntlet she was wearing. A red cape was only attached to make it look even better. Smiling to herself she went out of her room. 'Shinji is going to have a maajor nose bleed', she thought happily.  
  
Going outside she almost died in shock. Asuka is now face to face to none less than the commander himself. Little sweat bullets appeared on her forehead. "Commander?" asked Asuka," Why are you here?"  
  
The commander stiffened a little and in a meek voice he said," I ain't the commander, Asuka. It is me Shinji."   
  
(Yea, yea I know the commander thing has been done hundreds of time, but I can't resist that a Gendo look alike is going to school). Asuka almost died of shock. To prove it Shinji took off his glasses to show his kind blue eyes. Asuka nodded to confirm the fact. As soon as Shinji reattached the glasses his kind exterior melted amd transformed instantly to the cold one that is also used by the commander.   
  
Look at her watch Asuka's eyes poped out. "We are late!" Once again she grabbed the unfortunate Shinji and ran straight to school. (Just imagine Gendo being dragged at around mach 2 by Asuka and he is boucing along the pavement like a ragdoll)  
  
~~~~~  
  
After finishing their costumes, the three Evas (this gives a BIG new meaning to name 'Three Stooges') proceeded back to the room with the video tapes. Now instead of one big huge stack, there are now a few smaller ones. Most of them have names of it like 'Shinji' or 'Asuka' and 'Gendo'.  
  
~~~~~  
  
As Asuka and Shinji raced through the door and sat on their seats just as the bell rang. The teacher came in with no costume on. When he looked up for roll call he immediatly fainted. Feeling many stares at his back Shinji looked backwards. It was then that Shinji felt many stares at his back. Looking backwards he noticed that many people in the backrow, including a person dressed as Godzilla and King Kong, lost control of their bowels. Looking to his side he noticed Rei, who has a little Hello Kitty bow on her blue head (I got the Hello Kitty idea from another fic), which makes her look silly, was also staring at him.   
  
When the teacher woke up he said in a stuttering voice," Well Commander Ikari, it is a pleasure for you to be here."   
  
Sighing Shinji took off his shades again and said," Its me Shinji." Suddenly the whole room except for Asuka and Rei roared ,"WHAT!" After sweatdropping Shinji subconciously did the 'Gendo Pose'. Everyone suddenly noticed that the room got a whole lot darker.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Without knowing Shinji remained like that untill lunchtime. When the bell rang many people were still transfixed at Shinji. After several minutes they got over their shock and left the room or at least get as far as the commander look a like as possible.   
  
Meanwhile on the other side of the room Touji summoned all his courage and moved towards Shinji along with Kensuke. Shinji remained impassive as Touji, Kensuka and Asuka stood around him.  
  
"Shinji can I talk to you?" asked Touji/Goku look a like.  
  
"Proceed", said Shinji in a voice that made everyone shudder.  
  
"Are you okay?" asked Kensuke/GI Joe.  
  
"Yes, of course"  
  
"Cut it out Baka!" shouted Asuka, who is now looking as though she is going to rip him up a new one with her gauntlet. Remembering about his glasses she promtly ripped them off his face.  
  
"Hey!" yelled Shinji. "Give it back", he is now trying to grab his shades, but Asuka wouldn't have him have it. Shinji gave up and pouted.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Asuka kicked open the door to the apartment and roughly shoved Shinji inside. "God, Shinji I can't believe you sometimes."  
  
"What did I do?" said Shinji who was still wearing that Gendo costume with no shades.  
  
"What did you do! You acted like your crazy father!" shouted Asuka.  
  
"I wasn't!"  
  
"Too bad you are still my slave from that bet, so shut up!" ordered Asuka with a content smile on her face.  
  
Shinji looked confused and sighed.   
  
It was then a beautiful looking Misato poped out from her room.  
  
"Hi, guys! We have orders to go tot he geo-front today, Yui, Kyoko and Unit-00 wants to show us something", said Misato with a smile on her face," So how do I look?" Misato turned around to show off her body-hugging red dress.   
  
"You look good", said Asuka and Shinji at the same time. Asuka glared at Shinji and instantly gave him a head lock and ruffled his hair. Misato was laughing hard at the scene that is unfolding before her. As she regains the use of her lungs she said," Come on kids lets go."  
  
~~~~~  
  
"TREE...MAN...WATCH OUT...HOLY SHIT THAT AIN'T NO ROAD!!!" shouted a very scared metal clad red-head and a near fainting commander look a like. The tryres screeched as Misato toke them off Mach 5 and parked into a parking lot...knocking out five cars in the proccces.   
  
"I swear some people can't drive", said a disgrantled looking Misato as she opened the door (actually the door kind of fell of the frame entirely). As Misato walked towards the geo-front the two children decided that it was safe to leave the car.   
  
"I swear that if we somehow manage to fit the angels in there, while Misato is driving it would have saved us a whole lot of trouble", growled Asuka.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Meanwhile in Mikuko's home her angel companion sneezed. 'That's odd I don't catch colds', he thought.  
  
~~~~~  
  
In the geo-front there were a lot of seats. Thinking there was some sort of a movie Asuka dragged Shinji into the front row. While they were walking/dragging there many people gave them strange looks. It was nothing compared to what happened when Asuka bumped into someone. Looking up Asuka was about to beat the offender senseless. Looking up she almost died of shock again. Looking at them was the TRUE commander of NERV. Gulping she stepped backwards. Now Gendo has a full view of his son dressed as him. Gendo stared at Shinji and he stared back. Suddenly Gendo gave a warm smile and patted Shinji on the back. "I knew you had it in you son." Then he walked away. Ignoring the comment Asuka resumed dragging Shinji. Once again they were interrupted. Looking up again (WAY up this time) they screamed in horror.   
  
"MUTANT ANGEL", screamed both kids at once. In front of them was Sachiel...with Eva-01's head.  
  
"Kids calm down, its me", Asuka and Shinji looked up, relising who she was, Asuka almost died of laughter.  
  
"Haha very funny...wait till you see Kyoko", said Yui. This successfully shuts up Asuka. Emerging from the trees was Shamshel with Eva-02's head instead of the core.   
  
"This is the last time I'll let you make the costume Yui", muttered Kyoko. it was then Unit-00 popped out. She was more like a gaint diamond with two legs than an Eva. Shinji, Asuka, Yui and Kyoko suddenly erupted into laughter.   
  
"I wouldn't laugh if I were you", said a slightly irate Unit-00.  
  
"What are you going to do? Roll on us?" mocked both Yui and Kyoko.  
  
"No, but just like the angel that I've dressed up as, this one can also fire a high power positron beam", said Unit-00. Everyone fell silent.   
  
"Err, Okay...you kids should get a seat", said Yui. Shini and Asuka gladly ran up and grabbed a seat.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Before the movie started the three Evas came up. Once the NERV staff saw the 'machines of mass destruction' they bursted into laughter. They were silenced when Unit-00 fired a high powered beam and created a 50 meter radius crater in the geo-front.  
  
"We Evas decided to make a treat for Halloween", said Yui and they left the platform. Once they left the stage a large 40 storey screen appeared.   
  
"5,4,3,2,1...Three Evas Present...NERV'S Funniest Home Videos." Everyone especially Gendo paled when they read those words.  
  
"Shinji"   
  
'Oh, shit', thought Shinji. He looked to his side and saw Asuka staring at him grinning.  
  
~~~On the screen~~~  
  
A 7 year old Shinji appeared on the screen (several female staff went 'awww') he was dressed in a superman costume. Apperently it was also Halloween at that time. Shinji climbed up the cupboard, which was located on top of some stairs. Shinji was preparing to jump (remember kids superman costumes do NOT make you fly). Gendo walked under the cupboard when he jumped. As he looked back Gendo got knocked down the stairs by a flying Shinji. Even though the camera did not record the incident, because of the angle of the camera, a thumping sound was heard.  
  
~~~Back to reality~~~  
  
This time the screen reads," Asuka".  
  
~~~On the screen~~~  
  
A giggly 8 year old Asuka was walking down the stairs. She was holding a coke can and had a strange smile on her face. Needless to say, Asuka was wasted on cola. She was walking down a flight of stairs when she tripped and rolled down the stairs. Once she reached the ground she got up instantly as though nothing happened. Hiccupping she went in a direction and ran into a wall. She turned around and ran into another wall . Going crazy she ran into every wall of the house at least ten times. It was then that she fell on the ground with swirly eyes. Of course she still had that smile on her.  
  
~~~Back to reality~~~  
  
After a loud assortment of German curses were heard, the word,' Rei', came up.  
  
~~~On the Screen~~~  
  
On the screen there was a cute 8 year old Rei staring into the camera...still staring...still staring...still staring...still staring...still staring...still staring...still staring...still staring...still staring...  
  
~~~~~5 minutes later  
  
Some of the audience were getting restless. A snoring sound was heard. Everyone tried to find where the sound was coming from. 5 minutes later, everyone found out it was coming from the speakers.   
  
~~~Back to the screen~~~  
  
Rei is still looking into the camera, except that a little puddle of drool was under her chin. This was followed by a 'thud' as Rei fell off her seat.  
  
~~~Back to reality~~~  
  
Everyone was silent as the name,' Gendo', popped up.  
  
~~~On the screen~~~  
  
Gendo was in a high school shop class. He was in a group making what looked like a wooden plane. As he reached out for his hammer he knocked over a bottle of glue and the lid came off and fell under the table. As he tried to retrieve the lid his head touched the table. Panicing that his head is now stuck on the table he swinged his arms around frantically. He smacked the bottle of glue which fell on the floor... at least not before impacting on his seat, spilling some glue. Known to the fact he sat of his chair. Now his head was stuck on the table and his ass was stuck on the stool. Moving his hand to help get the stool of his ass, one of his hands got stuck on his ass, because of the glue. Before the mini-movie ended, Gendo had his head stuck on the table, his ass stuck on a stool and one of his hands stuck on his ass.  
  
~~~Back to reality~~~  
  
Gendo sighed,' At least I can now relax, I can now watch the rest without worry'. This thought was short lived as the words, 'More on Gendo', appeared.  
  
~~~~~  
  
So how was it? I really need some rest now so I'm ending this one here. PLZ review 


	11. Shinji or Shana

Chapter 11  
  
Well I'm writing this chapter since I remembered that my operation is tomorrow. I wouldn't be able to write/type for a while after the operation, so I writing this chapter now. Also thanks to ssj-kabuto who told me that the soul in Unit-00 was actually Ritsukos mother. Oh and before I forget THANKS HEAPS for all those reviewers, it has made my experience in the hospital much more bearable (I think I know why Shinji hates that ceiling so much now).  
  
~~~~~  
  
Disclaimer:...damn I can't think of a good flashy disclaimer...oh well, I don't own Evangelion  
  
~~~~~  
  
It was far from peaceful in Misato's apartment. Even though the movie was a good laugh, Asuka still never got over her...um...moment. While Asuka was in the verge of going beserk, Shinji went to his room to change from his costume. 'Damnit how did they get all those videos', thought Asuka,' And I'm so bored right now too...I GOT IT!'.   
  
Remembering that Shinji was still her unwilling slave, she decided to have some fun. "Oh, Shinji", cooed Asuka in a girlish voice. In his room Shinji, suddenly turned pale. 'I don't wanna die', thought Shinji. Asuka slammed open his door to reveal a cowering figure in a dark corner. Reaching out and grabbing her prey she dragged him into her room. "NOOOO!" cried Shinji before Asuka's doors snapped shut.  
  
Meanwhile Misato was in the dinning table observing the two. 'Poor kid', she thought before getting herself pissed on beer.   
  
~~~Asuka's Room~~~  
  
Dragging Shinji she threw him on a chair. Running around her room she found what she was looking for. Asuka placed on the table a long rope (Shinji:*gulp*) and a large red box. "Let's play makeup!" yelled Asuka.   
  
"Oh god! No! Please", shouted Shinji as he tried to run. Before he even left his chair he was slammed back into it.   
  
"Ok Shinji, by a good boy or I'll have to tie you up", Asuka said while pointing at the rope. Despite this Shinji still tried to escape. "The hard way then I see", sighed Asuka, and so she procceeded to tie him up.  
  
"NOOOOOOO!" shouted the boy. After Asuka was done she stepped back, deciding what to do with him. Finally she opened her box of make up.  
  
"You are going to look so cute!" Shinji sighed in defeat as he awaited his fate.   
  
~~~Morning~~~  
  
Misato recovered from her drinking spree and decided to check on her 'children', after all she is their gaurdian. Opening the door, her eyes poped open in suprise. She ran into her room and came back into Asuka's room.   
  
Asuka was sprawled over her bed in her halloween costume, snoring lightly. But this wasn't what Misato was going after. Her target was the figure gagged and tied to the chair.   
  
Shinji was awake, but he was unable to do anything, since his mouth was gagged. Misato rised an eyebrow in suprise. Unlike normal teens playing makeup when their 'victims', who usually ends up messed up and looking downright stupid, Asuka did a good job. Looking even more carefully at Shinji, Misato noticed that he looked quite good as a girl.   
  
Shinji's face was covered lightly in makeup, his hair has been combed and the hair at the side of his head has been braided, with a little bow on his head. When Misato looked down she noticed that Asuka also 'installed' fake breasts into Shinji.  
  
Raising her camera she took a picture of a distraught Shinji and ran away laughing.  
  
~~~5 minutes later~~~  
  
Asuka slowly woke herself up. Unfortunatly she forgot she was wearing her armor that she was wearing at Halloween, as she rolled of her bed. After the crash, swearing and screaming Asuka finally sorted herself out. Noticing Shinji on the chair, she smiled wickedly as she moved towards him.   
  
"Aww, you look cute as a girl", cooed Asuka," Good thing for you that we have a sync test today." Shinji fought hard to control his blush. "Anyways I'll let you go now." After Asuka finished untying him, Shinji ran straight towards Misato's room.  
  
~~~Misato's room~~~  
  
Misato was emailing the photo to NERV as Shinji busted in. "Nooo!" cried Shinji as the computer said ,"Transfer complete."  
  
Shinji is now literally breaking up on the ground. "Oh come on Shinji, cheer up. I know, why don't we go to the sync test now and if we are lucky we might be able to erase the picture before anyone sees it." Shinji suddenly stood up and ran towards the door. "Come on Asuka, lets go", ordered Misato.   
  
'The things I do for Shinji', thought Asuka as she left.  
  
~~~Eva cage~~~  
  
After Halloween, things were pretty normal in the Eva cage. The Eva Series disappeared, so things are even duller. The only thing from keeping everyone from getting bored to daeth was watching reruns of 'Gendo's moments' from yesterday's film. No matter how hard Gendo tries to destroy those tapes, even more pops up.  
  
Suddenly Yui found a new file that was sent to NERV at the morning. Shrugging Yui opened the file. Looking at the picture Yui rised her eyebrow(mentally, since Evas have no eye brows). She ran off to her friends cage and moments after that a loud roaring laughter was heard.  
  
~~~Outside of NERV~~~  
  
Picking through the wreckage of Misato's car Asuka and a slightly edgy Shinji walked towards NERV. Stopping by the gates as they swiped their cards, they looked around. Asuka and Shinji saw a funny looking advertisment.   
  
"NERV condoms, when you need to screw an angel bad...".   
  
Shinji reacted by blushing and Asuka said something that sounded like,"Hentais..."  
  
Racing into NERV central Shinji hoped to erase the file before anyone sees it. Luck was not on his side however. Once he ran in he saw the photo in a frame which reads ," Picture of the week". Shinji groaned as several female staff giggled when they walked past him.  
  
~~~Dat control room thingy~~~  
  
"Okay Shinji, Asuka, Rei, before you go ahead to do the sync test I want you to try this new drug I developed", said Ritsuko.   
  
"So you are doping us now?" said Asuka with her hands on her hips.   
  
"No, this is not exactly a drug like steroids or things like that. This drug makes you think more like your Eva, so your sync ratio should be higher", replied the blond scientist.  
  
"Yea, yea whatever. Lets get this over with so I can have some fun back in the apartment", said Asuka, winked at Shinji. Shinji gulped at this comment. Ritsuko decided it would be better for her sanity if she ignore that comment.   
  
"Ok guys...and girls lets go", ordered Misato.  
  
~~~Eva-00~~~  
  
"Do you feel any abnormalities?" inquired the doctor.  
  
"No, madam", said the mono-tone albino.  
  
"Okay then. You are doing good your sync score have risen to 75%", informed Ritsuko.  
  
~~~Eva-01~~~  
  
"How are you feeling Shinji?"  
  
"Sup doc", said Yui.  
  
"Grrr, Yui we are doing a test", said Ritsuko with a edge on her voice.  
  
"Okay then how do you feel?"  
  
"I feel a headache and I'm all groggy", whined Shinji.  
  
"Its alright. Those feelings were predicted Shinji don't worry." Shinji nodded.  
  
~~~Eva-02~~~  
  
"So-"   
  
"I'm fine, as always", boasted Asuka, rudely interrupting Ritsuko.  
  
~~~Dat control room thingy~~~  
  
"Okay we can stop the tests now", ordered Ritsuko. Ritsuko was writing something down of a board when a distressed voice came over the radio. "Dr Akagi! Unit-01's entry plug is not ejecting!" shouted a tech.  
  
"A reation is happening in Unit-01's plug!" yelled Maya.  
  
"Yui what's happening?" shouted Ritsuko over the microphone.  
  
"I don't know, I can't control it", shouted Yui.  
  
"Reactions have stopped. Enry plug is ejecting. Pilot life signs confirmed." Everyone in the control room started breathing again.  
  
"What about the other pilots?" asked the doctor.  
  
"Everything is normal with them an-...holy shit! Dr Akagi please come to Eva-01's cage quick!" Ritsuko took off with haste. Following her were Misato and Maya.   
  
~~~Eva-01's cage~~~  
  
Running towards the entry plug, various members of the tech team moved away from the frantic women. As they peered into the entry plug they gasped. Shortly after they arrived Gendo was also by the plug. When he saw the figure he too turned pale.  
  
"Is..is it Yui?" asked Gendo.  
  
"No, I'm still in the Eva", informed Yui.  
  
"Than who is that", Misato pointed at the female figure.  
  
"I think that's Shinji", replied the Eva. Everyone turned pale and Misato fainted.  
  
~~~Hospital room~~~  
  
Blue eyes fluttered open as Shinji opened her eyes. "Familiar ceilings", muttered Shinji. Then she stopped. 'Is it just me or did my voice sound different', she thought. Shinji looked at his side and noticed Asuka sitting on a chair by his bed snoring lightly. 'Is she waiting for me to wake up?', Shinji thought. As he reached out his hands to prod her, he noticed her hands were slimer. 'I must have been here for a long time, for me to get that thin'. He then proceeded back to prodding her. As Asuka woke up, she looked at Shinji and immediatly hugged her. But then she stepped back, looking afraid. "Is there a problem Asuka?" Asuka frowned.  
  
"Geez, even though you changed you are still a baka", the red head fumed. "Look", instructed Asuka as she turned the mirror in the room around so it caught Shinji's reaction. Shinji was speechless as she saw her reflection. Shinji scrambled out of her bed to get a better look.  
  
In the mirror there was a midium height female. She looked like Yui and Maya at the same time. Like Yui a bit of hair hung low in between her blue eyes. But unlike Yui the hair on her side of her head did not cover the side of her face, instead it goes around her ear and down to her shoulders.  
  
Still in shock Shinji poked at her 'assets' to make sure they were real. This seemed to make Asuka angry. "Hey quit perving yourself baka!" As Shinji looked back at Asuka, the door slammed open to reveal a worried looking Misato.  
  
"Shinji!" said Misato before she wrapped her in a bear hug, luckily before her air supply ran out she released him.   
  
After gasping for air Shinji looked up. "Misato, will I ever be alright?" asked Misato. Misato fidgited a little and put on a slight smile.   
  
"Don't worry Ritsuko said she would have a cure soon", Misato replied. "Come on lets get back and get some rest, you have school you know." Shinji groaned. "Don't worry, I have a cover story for you and put you in as a new student. Your school name is Shana Akiri (If you notice hard enough her sirname is Ikari rearranged)."   
  
~~~Back in Misato's apartement~~~  
  
Once they got back Misato promptly walked to the fridge. Misato smiled as she heard the words "makeup", from Asuka again.  
  
~~~In the demon's...err...I mean Asuka's room~~~   
  
Shinji or should I say Shana was sitting in Asuka's room. She was nervous so she fidgited every few seconds, you couldn't blame her because of the last time she was in here wasn't all that nice. Asuka later entered carring that unholy red box. While placing the box down Asuka said," Ok, lets make a deal. I will lay off that slave bet thing for now. But as soon as you are back to normal, you are MY baka, again. Deal?" Shana nodded. "Good, now that we are sorted, lets make you pretty for tomorrow." Shana sweatdropped.  
  
~~~In school~~~  
  
"Okay class", said the impossibly old teacher," We have a new student today, her name is Shana Akiri." Once he finished talking Shana/Shinji walked in. Boys' eyes suddenly dropped from their sockets as they saw the shy figure. Rei who knew what happened, but never saw her was also observing her.  
  
"Um...My name is Shana Akiri and its a pleasure to meet you."   
  
~~~~~  
  
Should I stop here? Should I be a meanie? Nah, let keep going...I better get good reviews for this though.  
  
~~~~~  
  
As if she was on autopilot, Shana sat where she would have normally sat. No one argued about her choise since all they boys were drooling over her and the girls were glaring at her. Not wanting to attract more attention she opened the laptop and went on a chat program.   
  
~~~~~  
  
Akiri: Hi  
  
Hacker: Yo  
  
SportsPro: Hey  
  
RedWarrior: Sup  
  
Akiri: Guess what the teacher fell asleep on his own second impact leture  
  
They all looked around the laptop and sure enough, the old man's boredom backfired.  
  
Hacker: hey Akiri, you are only here for one day, how did you know that our teacher rants about the second impact?  
  
Shana started panicing, but Asuka manage to save her hide.  
  
RedWarrior: because stooge, she lives with me  
  
Hacker: does that mean that Shana is an Eva pilot?  
  
RedWarrior: yep  
  
Hacker: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
  
SportsPro: hey speaking of Eva, where is Shinji?  
  
RedWarrior: geez you are dumber than you look. Shinji is attending special training.  
  
Hacker: lucky him...   
  
~~~~~  
  
The bell rang right then waking the teacher. "Err..lunchtime already? Wow time is fast...before the second impact time seems to..." No one was there to hear him ranting.  
  
~~~Under a tree~~~  
  
"So Shana what do you think of Tyoko-3 so far?" asked Hikari.  
  
"Its nice and its sunny too, I like that", said Shana with a smile on her face. Hikari smiled back.   
  
"Damn we have a reps meeting now, it was nice to talk with you", said Hikari as she walked away. 'I can see why Touji has a crush on her now, she ain't half bad.' Relaxing against the tree she sighed.   
  
"Hey there pretty", came an oily voice from behind her. Looking back she noticed a big muscular boy. His name was Derak, he was well known for tying to sleep with as many girls as possible. Shana tried to back away as he walked towards her. Shaking in fear she tried to move back, but he grabbed her arm. "Let go!" screamed Shana. Suddenly a crack was heard. Derak fell down revealing a angry red-head behind him. "Lets go", said Asuka as she tugged her away. They didn't get far until another crack was heard. This time it was Asuka who fell down.  
  
"Stupid bitch", said Derak wiping blood from his mouth. Shana went next to Asuka to make sure she was alright.  
  
"You are in big trouble mister", yelled the form rep.   
  
"Fuck off", said Derak as he shoved her into the ground. Touji, witnessing the event stepped up.   
  
"When you punch her, you deal with me", growled Touji, who was a head shorter than him. 'Touji, no', thought Shana.  
  
"Oh, look a Romeo", said Derak and punched him in the face. Touji dodged but when he was about to punch back a kick got him in the gut. Touji was down spitting out blood. A wave of anger washed through Shana. As Derak's hands reached towards her body, she grabbed it and twisted. A sickening crunch was heard.  
  
"Fucking bitch", Derak screamed. Unkown to Shana her eyes went red, just like Rei's. Derak punched her shoulder, dislocating it. Ignoring the pain, she grabbed his throat and in an amazing feat of strength chunked him into a wall. Needless to say Derak was down for the count. Still feeling angry, her shoulder shined and her shoulder regenerated. Moments later she collapsed.  
  
~~~Hospital~~~  
  
"So you are saying that Shinji turned into a girl, because the drug not only made him think like an Eva, but became the same sex as one?" said a blurry female voice.  
  
"I'm afraid this is so", said what seemed like Dr Akagi.  
  
"What about that fight? The only thing I've seen thats come close to it is an Eva going beserk", asked Misato.  
  
"The test proved that some of the genes from Eva-01 transferred to Shinji", anwsered Ritsuko.  
  
"Can this be fixed?"  
  
"I can fix everything, except for the genes."  
  
"But will he be normal?"  
  
"Yes he would be, except for the fact that he could summon an AT field and regeneration", said the doctor.  
  
'Oh god, Yui is gonna kill us".  
  
"What about the other pilots?" asked Misato.  
  
"Nothing out of the ordinary", replied Ritsuko. It was then Misato noticed that Shana was awake and immediatly hugged her. Ritsuko just left the room.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Well, that's all for me now. And from this point on there will be a proper adventure plot, not a bunch of random stuff, but I assure you, the randomness lives on! I got my friend Henry to write while I'm having the operation and while I'm healing (go to my bio to read more on that). Anywayz see ya, and wish me luck :) 


	12. Let da games begin!

Chapter 12  
  
Hey, there. As you know, Alexandra broke her arm and leg, so she is in the hospital having them reconstructed. First that I would like to say is that the operation was a success and the doctor said she should be out in five weeks (I think). During that time she will have to spend at least one week resting, that's where I come in. As Alexandra told you in the last chapter my name is Henry. I will write the next few chapters until she can write again. Lets hope my writing is up to scratch. Now to reply to a reviews... . Da Mazoku Puchuu(), I don't exactly no what you mean by laggy ok, but I have my own assuptions... anyways thanks for pointing out the MAGI and the AT field thing. To reply to that AT field thing Da Mazoku Puchuu(), she/I know all humans have At fields, but you don't see a human going through an angel AT field do you? AT fields have different strengths (as seen on the episode where Unit-01 attacks Kaoru), so what she must have meant was that Shinji's/Shana's AT field is stronger then normal. Now to Alpha Draconis 1, I'm sorry that this story is getting too confusing, but as I have read the plot that Alexandra gave me, everything should be sorted out in the end.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Disclaimer: Do I look like Gainax? No, I'm not Gainax, which means I don't own Evangelion  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Several figures stalked through the silent night. They moved carefully throughout the city. Grabbing a red object they proceeded to their plan. A loud hissing was heard, but on top of that, muffled laughter was heard.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Misato was sleeping quietly in her office. This was her only real break in months. Everysince Yui started speaking, the commander got A LOT nicer. Sure he is still that crazy retard, but a lot has changed. One example could be that the commander actually smiles, not that evil smirk, but a real one and most importantly a better fasion sense. Misato couldn't help, but laugh when she remembered what happened the other day. Apperently Gendo was working late in his office the previous night, so he slept in his private quarters. The next day he came to the bridge...wearing pink pajamas and fluffy slippers. Being the commander he blamed it was Yui who made him do it, even though Yui denied that fact.  
  
As Misato crept closer to dream land, Ritsuko came through the door. "Misato, the Eva-Series have returned", she said.  
  
"Like I care", shouted Misato, who still haven't gotten over of the shock about Kaji's revelation.  
  
"Oh, I thought you would like to kiss your man when he comes back home, like what they do in those pre-impact movies'', teased Ritsuko.  
  
''Oh Shut up'', Ritsyko! You are sick you know, I mean I am human and he is a 100 meter bio-mechanical machine of doom'', retorted Misato. Ritsuko smiled, teasing Misato was one of her favourite hobby.  
  
"Anyways besides that I have something you may want to look at'', said Ritsuko. Grudgingly Misato got off her seat. "Oh by the way, Shinji's cure for that...condition, will be completed in two days", informed the blond.  
  
"That's good'', sighed the major.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Come on!" screamed the red-head as she dragged Shana to school.  
  
"Asuka! Can you quit dragging me! People are giving us funny looks you know", Shana shouted back.  
  
"As long as we arrive to school on time I don't care if a freakin angel is giving me a funny look, she-baka'', grummbled Asuka  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
A sneeze was heard in Mikiko's home a siver figure sneezed. 'Hmm, thats very odd, I seem to sneeze a lot lately, maybe I should eat my vegetables like Mikiko suggested", he thought. He shrugged, resuming what he was doing. 'To be or not to be that is the question', the angel thought again as he read through Shakespeare. Sighing the infant angel hoped for the return of his friend. 'I wonder what school is like'.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Misato was face to face with the Evas...well more like face to feet. "What did you do this time'', said Misato in a bussiness like voice.  
  
"Why Misato, I thought you trusted us? How come every time something goes wrong you look at us?" said Kaji in an innocent voice. Misato glared. The Evas shaking in fear starting walking backwards, before breaking into a run.  
  
"What did they do this time?" asked Misato over the com.   
  
"They painted the town red", said Ritsuko over the com.  
  
"I know, what did they do?''   
  
"Misato, they literally painted it red", said the voice.  
  
"What!"  
  
"And you should see this", the scientist said. Later a photo was printed out in a slot under the com. In the photo It shows a building. In fact it was the only building in the fortress city that was not completely covered in red paint. On a closer in spection there was writing on it. It says," All hail Misato, the queen of hangovers". At once Misato crashed the photo and proceeded towards the Eva-Series's cage.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Shana and Asuka arrived in the classroom just before the bell rang. Just as though it was on cue the old windbag stepped in. "Before the second impact bells don't ring that loud", said the old man. No one heard that since his power of boredom was so strong, once he opened his mouth the class was already doing anything to relieve themselves from the boredom. (who did you think made the eighth angel slept so long?) Shana noticed that some people were staring at her. 'Great', she thought,'More attention, just what I need. I guess the details of that fight must have went around the school'. Opening her bad she took out her laptop which she received for her birthday.  
  
~*~Flashback~*~  
  
Shinji/Shana was estatic as he opened his presents. Rei gave him a $500 shopping spree voucher(I'm not sure how much is $500 in yen). Rei said she gave him the present since he is always wearing the same thing. Beaming Asuka gave him a MP3 player with a set of songs he could listen to as well as a pretty red hand made card that said 'Happy birthday Baka. I love you. Then finally a combined present from Misato, Ritsuko, Gendo and Yui. They gave him a black laptop with a leather carring bag, on the laptop was a NERV logo. On the outside it seemed like a normal laptop, but later Ritsuko explained that it was far from it.   
  
"Laptop these days are so obsolete so we took the liberty to upgrade this laptop, which your father bought and upgraded it with help from you mother, Misato and I. We upgraded it to a 40GH proccessor, 200GB of hardrive, a special NERV video card with 1000MB of virtual memory, 500 ram, wireless LAN and a 5 MB/sec wireless internet", explained the blond. Shinji's mouth was basically hanging open after Ritsuko explained everything to him.  
  
~*~Back to reality~*~  
  
Shana opened it and was simply amazed at the laptops speed. Shrugging she went to a private chatroom.  
  
~*~Chatroom~*~  
  
Angel entered the chatroom.  
  
RedWarrior: Shana I hope your name doesn't have a double meaning...  
  
Angel:what do you mean?  
  
Sportspro:yea? what do you mean?  
  
RedWarrior:...  
  
Hacker:...  
  
Frost:...  
  
Angel:...oh! I get it! hehe sorry...  
  
*Angel changed her name to BlueSky*  
  
RedWarrior:much better  
  
*RedGuardian entered the chatroom*  
  
Hacker:who are you?  
  
RedGuardian:ask Asuka she should now  
  
Asuka suddenly looked extremely distressed  
  
RedGuardian:so hows your day pumpkin?  
  
Hacker:pumpkin?  
  
Sportspro:pumpkin?  
  
A blushing Asuka looked towards the two stooges desks. The two of them were having a field day trying not to burst out laughing.  
  
RedWarrior: Hey! Will you stop embarrassing me?  
  
RedGuardian: Aww...I thought you liked it?   
  
RedWarrior: Grrrr  
  
*RedWarrior left the chat room*  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Luckily for Asuka, her mother didn't have enough chance to embarress her because at that moment the bell rang. 'Saved by the bell', thought Asuka.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
After reading the Romeo and Juliet, the young angel got bored. After wondering around the apartment he was starting to go crazy from boredom. It was then a ball of shining light appeared in front of him. The shining ball was about the size of a human adult. Squinting he could see two figures in the ball. When the ball stopped shining there were two figures standing in front of him, a male and a female one. Recognising who they were the angel rushed up to hug them. The tall female with silvery hair smiled gracefully as she looked at her son with her red eyes. The tan skinned, fairly musclular man did they same thing, as he reached and hugged him. "Hello son, we came here to visit and to check up on you", said Zureul as he patted his son on the back.  
  
"So, hows things?''asked Sachiel.  
  
''Boring, I want to go to school, just like a normal child... say how did you guys make yourself look human?'' asked the little 4 foot angel.   
  
''Well, all you have to do is to manipulate your AT field a little, and the good part is that you don't also look human, but feel it'', said Sachiel. To prove her point she extended her arm, the angel(Any suggestion for a name here for, cause I don't wanna call it 'the angel' through the whole fic) touched it and whistled.  
  
"Cool! How did you do it?'' said the overly excited silver angel.  
  
"Okay, it is very simple. Close your eyes and concentrate on your AT field. Then concentrated on looking like a human. Got it?'' said the father.   
  
"Yep!'' was the reply. Immediatly he closed his eyes and began to concentrated. His parent observed him with curious eyes, making sure nothing happens to their child. In a blinding flash of light, the proccess was complete. Estatically, the angel checked that everything went right. 'Arms...check! Legs...check! A head...check!' Happy of his success he jumped up and down. Zureul was right now laughing lightly as Sachiel was smiling.  
  
"Son, don't you feel a little...cold?" asked Zureul the angel of might. Stopping he thought about what his father said. Blushing he relised what he meant. Running into Mikiko's room he got dressed before returning.  
  
"My, you are quite a lady killer'', teased his mother. This made him blush harder. The angel had red eyes just like all his reletives. His silverish gold hair was like Kaoru's except a little shorter, he also have palish skin, but not enough to make him an albino like Rei. Judging from his looks he was around 11 years old.   
  
"You look almost like your cousin Sandalphon. Last time she was on Earth was she was talking to an old man, in a human form. I don't know what they were talking about but the next day she slept too long and got herself killed... (think about what I said earlier in this chapter)"   
  
*Moment of silence*  
  
Zureul sighed. "Your mother always says something random-" this conversation was stopped when Sachiel smack him on the head. Zureul tries to look offended, which wasn't too convincing causing everyone to laugh.  
  
Ruffling his son's hair, Zureul said, " Got to go, we have work to do.''   
  
"Thanks dad and mum!" said the angel before they disappeared the same way the appeared. 'Wait till Mikiko sees me', thought the angel happily.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Damnit, all the angels are dead, so why do we have to keep having these sync-tests'', moaned Asuka as she walked towards Eva-02.   
  
"Dunno, at least we will be ready. Anyways SELEE might try another attack, so it pays to be ready'', said Shana.  
  
"I suppose'', said Asuka as she entered Eva-02 'Pay back time' she thought.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
As Shana activated the Eva no sound welcomed her, instead it was replaced by an spooky silence. ''Mum, you there?'' said Shana. This time a sobbing sound was heard. ''Mum, are you ok?''  
  
''I'm so sorry'', sobbed what sounded like Yui's voice.  
  
"Why are you sorry? You did nothing wrong'', said Shana.  
  
''Well I made you a girl which means Asuka can't love you anymore. Also your genes got contaminated with the Eva's genes'', sobbed Yui.  
  
"Mum, you did nothing wrong, anyways Dr Ritsuko said she would have a cure in around two days and being to regenerate is more of a blessing'', explained Shana with a sad look. There was silence. When the silence almost became unbearable Yui finally spoke.  
  
"You are right. I guess I was just being stupid", said Yui. For some reason the entry plug became more comforatable and warm. Shana could almost feel that her mother was smiling. "By the way, you look great as a girl", teased Yui. Shana blushed.  
  
"Mother!"  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
In the control room Ritsuko and Misato smiled as Shana's sync ratio soared to 90%. However Asuka was having a worse time as her ratio dropped several percent. "Should we ask her what's going on in there?" asked Misato.  
  
"Patience", said Ritsuko in a StarWars Jedi sort of voice. This made Misato pout.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Why did you ttry to embarress me?" shouted Asuka in the entry plug.  
  
"Sorry dear. I was bored", said Kyoko.  
  
"That's no excuse. Promise me you will never do that again mother", demanded the girl.  
  
"I promise... Pumpkin. Anyways can you please ask the commander to make an activity day or something, cause everyone is getting really bored", requested Kyoko.  
  
"Sure thing"  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Ritsuko smiled even broader as Asuka's sync score suddenly jumped to 90% matching Shinji's score. "Hey Ritsuko, do you mind if I leave for a while I have some...err...unfinished bussiness".  
  
"Sure".  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Rei was sitting quietly in her Eva thinking to her self. All this was interrupted by Eva-00 who said,"So..."  
  
"So, what?" asked Rei quietly.  
  
"So...err...hows school", said Eva-00 who was trying to start a conversation. To her suprise Rei suddenly talked...a lot.  
  
"Iwassittingunderatreeeatingmylunchquietlyuntilthesetwogirlscamealong,Idon'treallyknowthembuttheyseemtokno-wmeandtheywereaskingmeaboutmyhairandmyeyes..."   
  
'Note to myself, never EVER do that again', thought Eva-00 who was starting to get an Eva size headache.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
In another part of NERV nine figures were pressed against the wall. In front of them was a extremely small figure...well at least to them. However even though the figure was less than a hundredth of the nine white shaking figures, it seemed to be doing one hell of a job scaring the shit out of them. For its size she could certainatly shout hard. So hard in fact that in three seconds all the paint was ripped off their armor and right now Kaji was sure that his S^2 core was starting to crack. "Misato calm down ou had too much to drink", said Kaji who was feebly defusing this situation.  
  
"I only drank two cans", shouted Misato.  
  
'Yea, two Eva sized beer that is', thought Kaji.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
"...so commander Ikari we wanted something, like a special activity day to pass the boredom and hopfully rise some moral among the staff", explained Ritsuko. Beside her were the Eva pilots. Misato came in during the middle of the meeting with what seemed like white paint on her jacket.  
  
"Permission accepted. Oh by the way you guys call me Gendo from now on and Shinji you can call me dad alright?" said Gendo.   
  
'Holy shit he changed that much', thought everyone in the room except Gendo.   
  
"I have an idea for that day", said Gendo. Everybody shuddered, but Gendo didn't seem to notice. "I thought of the idea when I was playing mine sweeper on my laptop when I was bored. Lets have a LAN party". Everyone was staring at him as if he had grown an extra head.   
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Guess what?" shouted Yui to her companions.  
  
"What?" said the red and blue Evas at the same time.  
  
"Check this out", replied Yui as she pulled out a mat.  
  
"What the hell is that?"  
  
"Ever heard of DanceDanceRevolution?" said Yui.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Sooo how was it? Sorry I have to stop here, but Alex just woke up and she has been glaring at me for the last two minutes while repeating 'better not stuff this fic up'. So, did I stuff this fic up? Either way please respond by reviewing. 


	13. Show down at NERV

Chapter 13  
  
Hey there! Since Alexandra/Nova10 still can't write, I am right now writing this chapter for her, in her hospital room (she has been glaring at me all day and repeating ''You better not screw this up'').   
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Disclaimer: Gainax owns Evangelion and Evangelion owns us...  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
In the Mt Fuji observation post two people were doing the night shifts. Ever since the angel wars ended a few months ago security have been lessened, now there are only two people doing night shifts. Everything was silent and the soft humming of machinary filled the air. Suddenly a strange beeping sound was heard. Immediatly the two observers went to the beeping machine.  
  
"That's odd, we are picking up a Ritcher scale 2 earthquake", said one of the men.  
  
"Where is it coming from?" enquired the other man.  
  
"Its coming from NERV, sir", the man responded.  
  
"Ignore it. Knowing NERV they are probably up to something..."  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
"HA! Shame beat that Kyoko!", yelled Yui as she scored a triple A. In the Eva hanger people have crowded around it watching the spectacle. At first it was the Eva techs who were watching them. Ten munites later the science depatment joined in. Another few minutes later, the bridge crew and the security team were also joined in as well. In the Eva hanger the Evas have set up a giant mat linked to a huge big screen TV. Around them large speakers were blasting music. Needless to say the Evas were playing Dance Dance Revolution.  
  
"Any bets?" yelled a spectator.  
  
"I bet a ten on Eva-01", shouted who sounded like Maya.  
  
"A twenty", shouted another of the bridge bunnies(sorry i can't remember the name of the dude with the glasses).  
  
"A fifty", said Gendo. Suddenly there was silence as everyone stared at the commander in shock.  
  
"I have trust in Yui. She has been playing this game ever since high school", said Gendo.  
  
"And she wasted you everytime as well", added the sub-commander. Gendo remained silent. Sowly people resumed what they did before they were shocked into oblivion by the commanders.   
  
"Popcorn, who wants popcorn", shouted a NERV employee.  
  
"Do you have peanuts?" shouted Maya.  
  
"Sure", said the man as he chucked a bag of peanuts to Maya. After paying him, Maya started to guzzle down the peanuts.  
  
Silence took over as a new round was about to start. The three Evas took their place awaiting the music and dance steps. Then blazing over the the speakers was the Dance Like You Want To Win music.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Kaji and his gang were desperate. When Misato yelled at them their paint got stripped off by her voice, now they need something to 'cover up'.  
  
"Hey look what I found", yelled Eva-09 as he pointed to a door which reads 'Eva Supplies'. They grinned.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Things were not much quieter in Misato's apartment. Since the LAN competition was tomorrow everyone was trying to practise as much as they can, especially when there was a mystery prize for the winner. In Asuka's room she was going ballistic on Unreal Tornament Second Impact Edision. Meanwhile Misato was brushing up her skills on StarCraft Finale Judgement. However Shana was just trying to sleep throught the racket. 'Damnit why do they have to turn the volume so loud', thought Shana just as a grenade impacted impacted a tank and cascaded into an unlucky player.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
The next day in the Eva hanger Yui was sleeping contently in her cage. Yui manage to win almost every single Dance Dance Revolution game with Kyko and Eva-00. After a while she decide to wake up and connected herself to the mainframe waiting for the competition to start.  
  
"Hey are you going to join the competition?" asked Yui as she plugged herself in.  
  
"Nope, me and Eva-00 here have unfinished bussiness", replied the red Eva.  
  
"Lets dual!" shouted both Evas. Somehow two Dance Dance Revolutions mat appeared out of no where. Yui sweatdropped.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
In the bridge the competitors where sighning up. Off course Asuka and Shana were the first people in the line to sign up. Surprisingly the two commanders signed up as well.  
  
"Ok, will the competitors please follow me", yelled Ritsuko over a megaphone. Silently Ristuko lead them to a corridor which leads to an unknown part of NERV. Reaching the end of the corridor she opened the door. Many gasps were heard as they saw what seems to be a gamers heaven. There was a sea of computers with every imaginable game possible. Leading the awed crowd she stopped in front of a number of large boxes.  
  
"Ok, this competition involves several genres. There will be a first person shooter competition, followed by a stradegy game one, then a driving simulation, the last one will be a suprise. In between each competition there will be a fifteen minute break. The first competition will be the fisrt person shooter. Any questions?"  
  
There was silence.  
  
"Get into a box, if you need help press the red button. Oh and remember no cheating", said Ritsuko before she exited the room. As Shana stepped into one of the box he saw Asuka and Rei in the corner of his eyes doing the same thing. Stepping into the box she saw a set of goggles and a glove. All of this were wired into a socket.   
  
When Shana put her goggles and gloves on she gasped at the realness of the game. In front of Shana was the virtual battle field. She looked around and searched for a weapon. As she took the two Mp5s, a pistol and knife, she marvelled at how real everything was. She felt like he was actually holding it, she was postive that he could feel the coldness of the gun.   
  
Over the radio he heard Ritsuko's voice again. "The person with the most kills at least death in an hour wins the match. BEGIN!"   
  
Instantly Shana roared to life as she ran into a tunnel.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Asuka was going Terminator style as she roasted a gamer with a plasma flamer and finished him off with a blast from the shotgun. Anyone could tell that she was enjoying this A LOT. She turned around just as she was shot by a random NERV employee. The bullet missed but she returned the favour by emptying a whole round into him. 'Too bad they don't feel the pain', thought Asuka as she carried on her killing streak.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Rei was walking through the corridors of the game. Just as she was taking a turn another gamer ambushed her. Growling in frustration she knocked him over with the crowbar and ran back. Thinking that Rei was running away he ran after her. When Rei got far enough of the man she smiled and unveiled her suprise. The man gasped in horror a very relistic model of Rei in a slim powered suit was holding an impossibly large rocket launcher... in his direction.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Gendo was having a time of his life. Being an evil bastard does have its reward. Everytime someones sees him they basically got a heart attack and stood there stunned praying to Jesus. It was during that time of shock that Gendo shoots them in the head before walking off. Gendo also remembered the time when he faced a NERV tech. Ritsuko programmed the game so well that the oppostion began shiting his pants virtually... just as he was shiting his pants in the real world. As Gendo turned around he was greeted by the sight of Yui in her labcoat, holding an assualt rifle.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
In other part of the game Misato was having a shoot out with Kaji. Misato, who looked a lot like Tomb Raider with long purple hair was shooting at Kaji with dual pistols. She ducked just in time as a James Bond/Kaji fired back.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Shana gutted a gamer with a long commando knife before turning around a fired a round of bullets at the two intruders. Fairly sure that she killed everyone in this area she ran into a hall meeting another figure. Asuka. They stood there looking at each other. Asuka's model was amazingly realistic from the long red hair to the deadly gaze. She was amazed at how real the glare was. Meanwhile Asuka was observing Shana. She was wearing sunglasses and a trenchcoat which goes down to her ankles. Shana looked a lot like Shinji, except for the fact that she has hair up to her shoulders and the fact that she has breast and hips. The model of Shana reminded her of a pre-impact movie called the matrix. Ironically the matrix music came on as they both rolled into action.   
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Gendo was barely keeping Yui away from him. Gendo was blazing bullets all over the place, but funny enough none of them seemed to hit her. Yui was still continuing her advance towards Gendo, she switched her weapon to a crowbar as she was getting closer to him. Gendo knowing what will happen to him if she gets close enough went to his last option. Switching from the assault rifles he brought out his automatic grenade launchers. All around him were explosions and bits of rocks and debris were flying all over the place as Gendo fired everything he had towards Yui's direction. Gendo finally came to a stop as he ran out of ammo. Checking his weapons Gendo relised the dreadful truth that he has no more ammo for everthing. He even freaking chucked his knife at her! Gendo hoped that he finished her off in that crazy assualt. His wish fell on deaf ears however as a tattered looking Yui emerged from the flames. Holding a crowbar she procceded towards him. Looking at Yui carefully he noticed that the explosion have torn some clothing off revealing some of her...err...figure. Gendo could have sworn that Yui's model smiled as she walked towards him.   
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Misato and Kaji were still shooting at each other with no side winning or losing. Misato who relised that her ammo was running short devised a plan. Misato stopped shooting and decided to let Kaji finish off his ammo first. Kaji was no fool and stop shooting when Misato stopped shooting. However this was not all of Misato's plan. Kaji noticed something next to him, turing his head around he saw Misato with her pistol to his head. 'De ja vu', thought Kaji as his screen went blank.  
  
~*~*~*~*~   
  
All around the hall bits of rocks were chipped out as bullets impacted on the rock walls. Shana grabbed her Mp5s and went wild making Asuka run behind a rock column. Shana did the same thing while reloading. This time it was Asuka who lead the offensive. Charging towards Shana, she let the jets of flame from her flamer fly. While Shana ran from the flames Asuka emerged from it with two pistols blazing. One of the bullets impacted her arm, effectively knocking out 10% of her health. Shana retaliated by chucking a grenade which also knocked out 10% of Asuka's health since Asuka couldn't run fast enough to dodge it. Grunting Asuka lifted herself up and decided to go hand to hand combat as she pulled out a knife. Shana however pulled out her pistol as Asuka went in front of her. "Dodge this", said Shana coldly over the com. "That's what you get for making me stay awake the whole night". Shana pulled the trigger, which killed Asuka.  
  
~*~*~*~*~   
  
A loud buzzing was heard as the hour was over. People got out of their simulators and some of them were glaring at the pilots. Everyone crowded around the results.  
  
1st place: Shana Akiri 68kills 3deaths  
  
2nd place:Asuka Souryu 67kills 2deaths  
  
3rd place: Rei Ayanami 60kills 5deaths  
  
4th place:Yui Ikari/Eva-01 54kills 6deaths  
  
5th place:Gendo Ikari 50kills 1death  
  
6th place:Misato Katsuragi 39kills 1deaths  
  
7th place:Kaji 39kills 2death  
  
.  
  
.  
  
.  
  
.  
  
.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Looking at the results Asuka was furious. 'If the cheat didn't pull out that pistol if would have won' grummbled Asuka in her mind as she went 'Shana hunting'.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Meanwhile in another part of Tokyo-3 school was just about to start. In a certain classroom everyone sat down when the teacher walked in. "Ok class we have a new student today''. All attention ws directed towards the teacher now. "Please give a warm welcome to Micheal Shisha". On cue a boy with silvery gold hair stepped in shyly.  
  
"My name is Micheal Shisha, I'm very pleased to meet you".  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
So did I screw up like Alexandra/Nova10 said? Please prove her wrong by reviewing ^_^  
  
Next chapter: Command and Conquer: Misato 


	14. Command and Conquer: Misato

Chapter 14  
  
Wohoo! Thanks for all the reviews which says I don't suck. Anyways I'm sitting right next to Alexandra right now writing this. Those who thinks that I should be out more and not spending so much with her this is my answer, I have been in the hospital before and it ain't fun and since she is a very good friend of mine I decided to keep her company. Anyways writing this is quite fun. Oh and for those people/person who says that we planned for Alexandra getting injured is... WTF?! Ok, I did not push her down the stairs, understand? And I ain't lying...geez, I don't know where you got that idea, and its definiatly NOT planned.   
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Disclaimer: Look at chapter 1 ok?  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Loud footsteps were heard in the Eva cage. Although the crowd has lessened some what there were still people watching (you don't see dancing Evas everyday you know). So far both Eva-00 and Eva-02 have the same scores and this game was a tie breaker. If they don't get the winner after this song there will be no winner since they basically used every single song and music in human history. As the music draws to an end both Evas did they final dance step, stood up and yelled ,"Hey, Mararena!"  
  
The two large figures of the Evas move closer to the screen to view their scores. They both facefaulted as the letters on the screen said 'Tie'.  
  
"Stupid machine", yelled Kyoko as she kicked it. However the impact did no damage but left a little dent on Eva-02's foot gear. "Owww", said Kyko with a tear coming from one of her eye.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Asuka was looking around for Shana, and so far she had no luck. Asuka have searched the changing rooms, NERV command center, Eva cage (she didn't exactly went in there, since a whole lot of rummbling was going on in there) and the gaming area. Growling she decided to get a cup of water. What she saw next completly made her furious. 'I have been running around NERV trying to find that little cheat, but she was here the whole freakin time!' Asuka fumed to herself. As she approached Shana some of the NERV personal who saw her decided to leave the area, since they have seen her temper, but some still hung around wanting to see the out come of the most reason onslaught. Asuka was towering over Shana as she was readying for her assault. For some reason Shana was oblivios to the fact that there was a very angry demon towering above her. As the minutes past by Asuka's anger grow. Some of her hair on her head curled upwards making them look like horns. Finally she snapped. Reaching out quickly she grabbed Shana by the collar and slammed her onto the table.   
  
Still no reaction.  
  
Leaning closer she noticed that Shana was still not moving. Asuka was getting worried that she may have knocked Shana out. Moving closer she decided to check her pulse. It was then that she heard a soft snroing coming from Asuka. Everyone sweatdropped.   
  
Asuka thought of a way to wake Shana up. Wrapping her hands around her, she proceeded to tickle her. Shana woke up with a gasp and giggle. Asuka was just about to say something, but Ritsuko's voice interrupted them on the com. "Will all participants of the LAN tornament please return to the gaming area.  
  
'Pay back time', thought Asuka  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Shana was walking to the gaming area and she was also silently thanking. When she was entering the gaming area she caught sight of her father, the all powerful commander of NERV. Gendo was walking towards his gaming box while smirking. Upon closer inspection Shana saw a that he was holding a piece of paper. The only thing she saw was the word 'Senario' before he entered his box. 'Be afraid, be Very afraid' Shana thought to herself.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Here are Gendo's, Misato's, Yui's, Shana's, Rei's, Asuka's and Kaji's gaming stradegies:  
  
Asuka: Must beat Shana, worry about the rest later.  
  
Shana: Must fend of Asuka, worry about the rest later.  
  
Kaji: I better not get shot in the head again...  
  
Rei: Remain unnoticed then move in for the kill.  
  
Gendo: The 'senario' will not fail...  
  
Yui: Who cares about winning? I'm just here to screw up Gendo's senario... again.  
  
Misato: Stradegy? What stradegy?  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Ok guys, let the games begin", said Ritsuko before the game started. Shana noticed that the virtual visor and gloves were gone and they were replaced by a large screen (like da one in the command room except smaller) a mouse and a Keyboard. As the screen whirled into life Shana got to work.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
'I get Shana first, then I'll take care of the rest later', gloated Asuka in her mind as two armored warriors and a tank rolled out from their factory/barrack. 'Excellent'.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Gendo was content, so far everything was going along with the 'senario'.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
The bell started ringing which means one thing... lunchtime! Micheal couldn't understand why the students ran out with such happy expressions. 'Maybe they are hungry', thought Micheal. As he sat under a large oak tree, a figure with shoulder length brown hair and bright green eyes sat next to him.   
  
"Enjoying your first day of human life?" said Mikiko with a smile on her face.  
  
"Of course. By the way how come no one listens to the teacher talking?" asked Micheal as he picked away a pickle from his sandwich.  
  
"You actually lasted over five minutes listening to that windbag! Wow", exclaimed Mikiko as she took a bite from her sandwich.  
  
"And why did the class give me funny looks when the teacher introduced me?" asked Micheal.  
  
Mikiko started blushing and said ," Well the girls thought you were cute and I guess the guys tried to kill to with glares".  
  
"Do you think I am cute?" asked Micheal in a mischievous voice with a little smirk. Mikiko started blushing and concentrated on the patch of grass as though it was the most interesting thing in the world. 'Teasing her is fun' thought Micheal happily.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Things were definatly going wild. All of the competitors were beaten except obviously the main characters. Asuka was having an all out war with Shinji and Shinji fended them of effectively, but there doesn't seem that her amry was ruducing by size in fact it was to the opposite. In the end Shinji and Asuka joined forces even though it was a free for all.   
  
Misato however was having a time of her life. She was creating more chaos than everyone put to gather... with only six units. The only time Mistao almost lost was when Gendo somehow managed to lead all players in the game towards Misato's base. This ended however when Gendo got knocked out of the competition when Yui did a re-run of 'Rise of The Machines' and nuked him 1129 times before sending a huge army of robots to finish him of. Gendo's last comment on the com was "Bugger..."  
  
For some odd reason got Yui disconnected after Gendo was defeated...  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
A image of Eva-00 was imbedded in the Eva cage. Apperently Eva-02 and Eva-00 were playing hopscotch near the connection wire and .... you get the idea. Anyways it resulted in a mad Yui.   
  
"The nice ones always goes crazy first", commented Eva-02 to Eva-00 as she bandaged Eva-00 up.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
In the lab where Ritsuko was working in she completed whatever she was working on. She drained LCL out of a chamber and in the chamber was a pink cat. "Finally, I have made the perfect cat!" shouted Ritsuko in triumph. As she reached foward to grab the furry wonder an orange hexagonal field appeared and stopped Ritsuko's hands. 'Crap'.  
  
The pink furry cat like being managed to corner Ritsuko in a corner where it started puffing up. 'I'm gonna die' thought Ritsuko. The pink cat puffed up even more and sudenly did a gigantic fart and took a huge crap right on the floor. Then it collapsed and died. O_O  
  
(I don't really know why I added this scene in here...)  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Meanwhile in the gaming area Kaji was knocked out of the competition by Misato. His last unit was killed in point blank range by one of Misato's infantry. Upon closer inspection it looked as though the infantry shot kaji's spy in the head. 'Not again!' thought the eternally unshaven man.  
  
Now only Shana, Misato, Asuka and Rei remained in the game. Due to desperate circumstances Rei and Misato formed an alliance against Shana and Asuka's vast army. Right now Shana and Asuka's combined might was laing seige to one of Rei's secondary bases (imagine LoTR: Two Towers with guns). Rei and Mistato's forces was barely keeping them of and it was then that Misato drew back and attacked Rei's main base. Needless to say Rei didn't last very long.   
  
  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Five minutes later a very happy looking Misato emerged from the room, following her were Asuka, Shana and a very peeved Rei. 'Must add Misato to the 'to kill' list,' thought Rei.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Meanwhile in the commanders' office two men were having a conversation.  
  
"The report says that ever since the 'Picture of the Week' thing was put up, staff moral have increased. Especially when embarressing pictures of your son was put up," reported the sub-commander. There was silence. Then one word shattered it.  
  
"Interesting..."  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
In the Eva cage more evil things were being cooked up. Eva-01 managed somehow to find a giant desk and placed it in her cage. Afterwards she asked Ritsuko to see her. Stepping in the ultra dark room, Ritsuko was dumbstruck, one moment she was in NERV and after crossing a door she arrived in what seemed like Gendo's office x 2000 bigger. Lights turned on to reveal Eva-01 seated on a giant table on a giant chair in the 'Yui pose' (Yui's version of the Gendo Pose (tm), where she has both arms crossed and resting on the table).  
  
"Ritsuko is Shana's test tomorrow?" asked Yui.  
  
"Yes, Yui. What the heck did you do to this place?"  
  
"Irrelevent," said Yui. Yui pressed a button and a stack of paper appeared in front of the docter. Ristuko reached out to the paper and read it and raised an eyebrow.  
  
"You sure you want to do this," asked Ristuko.  
  
"Yes, I was going to do it to him at April's fools around a decade ago, but... I have complications. Don't worry docter I'm sure nothing will go wrong, after all I am the person who made the Evangelions," said Yui. Ritsuko's eyebrow was raised even higher.  
  
"Look, I asked you to do this because you are good in this subject, plus I was told that you have an... interest in this field. I am not forcing you to accept it."  
  
"Don't worry Yui I accept," said the blond before stepping out.  
  
'He is going to look SO cute,' chirped Yui in her mind.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Shana was trying to get some sleep. Everytime she falls asleep something happens. For example, Asuka yelling, Rei asking her to get some 'intelligence' on Misato for god knows what reason or a perverted tech asking her out. Grumbling she walked towards the Eva cages.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Entering the Eva cages she saw a most disturbing scene. Eva-00, 02 and the paintless Eva-series were sitting in a circle. On Eva-00's hands was a giant guitar. "Koom-by-ah, my lord, koom-by-ah, koom-by-ah, my-lord, koom-by-ah..."  
  
Shana decided to ignore this disturbing scene and went ahead to find her mother.   
  
Moments later a content Shana was sleeping on the huge head of Eva-01. Although this made a weird scene, Shana couldn't care less. This was all destroyed as the bells ring for the next round of the LAN competition.  
  
"That's it!" growled Shana as she went beserk and ran off, her blue eyes bloodshot from lack of sleep.  
  
"Maybe that's genetic," Yui mused to herself.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
So how do you like it? Will Shana ever get some sleep? Will Rei carry out her revenge? What is Gendo planning? Where does Yui find all these things? Will Eva-02 and 00 ever find something (sensible) to do? What colour will the Eva-Series be painted in? All this will be answered in the next chapter.  
  
PS This is probably the last chapter I'm going to write, but I might just pop in and out now and then. Anyways I gave Alex a master grade model kit of a MS-07 Gouf Custom for Christmas, but apprently she's already opened it... I don't know how she can build it with only one hand... 


	15. Killer vegetable and driving don't mix t...

Thanks for all the reviews. Thankfully Alex haven't put me out of action yet, so I should still be able to type a few more chapter out. Oh for those who are wondering about how she build that plastic model netherless a master grade with one hand, all she said was, "Never under estimate the female mind..."  
  
~~~~~  
  
Disclaimer: please see chapter one   
  
~~~~~  
  
Fuyutsyki was sitting in a church quietly. He didn't really believe in god, but he just needed somewhere to think quietly. Suddenly Satan appeared in front of everyone. People immediatly identified the unholy incarnate and ran for their lives screaming. All except an old aging man. Satan who was not used to being ignored decided to speak to the man.  
  
"Do you know who I am?" growled the mighty being.  
  
"Sure do," was the cool reply from the sub-commander.  
  
"Why are you not scared of me?" asked the price of darkness.  
  
"Been working for your brother for ten years.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Meanwhile in NERV things were not faring any better. In one corner a sleep deprived female Shinji with an ability to generate an AT field was walking with murder in her eyes. In another corner was Rei writing a list on possible whys to 'teminate' a certain major. In a far corner the Evas... better not go there.  
  
However they all met in the gaming area after the bell rang. Knowing the drill Shana walked into the room/booth/box. Once again everything was replaced and in front of her was a VERY comfortable looking seat, steering wheel. Forgetting about everything she placed herself on the seat and quickly fell asleep... at least untill Ritsuko's voice came through the com. In a fit of rage she crushed the com with one hand. Moments later she relised what she did, 'Whooops!'  
  
~~~~~  
  
Misato confident of her driving ability was seated in her seat waiting for the game to start. 'Piece of cake... mmmmm cake, especialy cake with beer,' thought Misato as she drooled.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Yui was doing some last minute 'adjustments' before the competion starts. 'It appears that all those countless hours playing games is going to pay off...' Yui thought to herself before she hooked herself up to the the interface.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Micheal was hanging upside down from a tree dispite Mikiko's protests.  
  
"Micheal you should get down here before you get hurt," warned the child.  
  
"Don't worry Miki I'll be careful," said Micheal. Mikiko's face went red when Micheal said her nickname.   
  
"She's right you know," said a female voice behind Micheal. Micheal's eyes widened in suprised and lost his balance. Thud. The sound of an angel falling out of a tree. Micheal hastily dusted his shirt and smiled at his mother making the scene even more funny in a cute way.  
  
"Hi mum," said the overjoyed angel.  
  
'Mother?' thought Mikiko. In a few seconds she added two and two together and another thud was heard.  
  
"She took it better than I thought," said Sachiel as both angels peered at the fainted girl.  
  
"Well you better get your girlfriend back home," said Sachiel. Sachiel winked at her son and disappeared. The messege was then proccessed by Micheal's brain.  
  
"Mum!" shouted the angel as he blushed furiously.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Misato and Kaji was in the lead head to head as both cars travelled at an insane speed. Behind them was a red car and a blue one. Asuka and Rei were going all out, not too far from the leaders. The very last person however was Shana. Poor Shana was sleeping while driving at the same time. Every time she yawned the car swerves a little. It was safe to say that the only traffic law she was breaking was driving way too slow.  
  
Yui's purple sports car soon caught up to Gendo's black SUV, which has a big engine sticking out of it. The outline of the front grills of Yui's car was red giving it the same look as Eva-01's mouth.  
  
'Action time,' thought the Eva/mother/scientist/Dance Dance Revolution champion. The car started glowing and opened up revealing giant air intake and a huge rocket booster (like da one in MIB). The hyped up purple sports car accelarated leaving behind smoke, a trail of fire and a stunned Gendo with his mouth hanging open (just try and picture Gendo with his mouth hanging open in shock).   
  
'I hate it when she does that,' thought the NERV commander.  
  
~~~~~  
  
"Isn't Yui cheating?" Maya asked.  
  
"Nope. Yui was playing this game a while back and unlocked this car. All she did was loading her profile on the machine, so technically she isn't cheating," explained Ristuko. Maya just blinked and went back to work, trying not to think about big purple Evas driving cars.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Yui's car barrelled down the road at high speed quickly catching up to Kaji and MIsato's location. Misato was trying to ram Kaji of the road and Kaji was doing the same thing. Suddenly just when Misato and Kaji were just about to ram each other Yui's car got wedged in between. The result was three cars, one with a hyper booster locked together (kinda like in StarWars Episode I were Anikin got stuck with that alien guy). It was then that they relised the road was getting narrower and narrower, until the cars couldn't move. All three players' efforts to get themselves unjammed were in vain. Looking at the rear view mirror Misato relised that Asuka and Rei were also getting closer.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Shana was driving in the amazing speed of 20km/h (I'm being sarcastic here). She was so sleepy that she didn't really give a shit about Asuka's car catching on fire, because of Yui's car and Gendo's upside down SUV trapping Rei's car in between Asuka's car. She just swerved to the right and took a detor, which went around the whole auto-mobile massacer. Everyone shared the same thought as Shinji took the detor. 'Why didn't I think of that?'  
  
~~~~~  
  
Half a painfully boring hour later Shana was within fifty meters from the finishing line. Everyone's hope however crashed, burned, chopped up and nuked as a computerized voice said ,"Last lap."  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"  
  
~~~~~  
  
Mikiko and Micheal were having dinner and even though Micheal only have been on Earth for a few days, he has so far learned that some vegetables were not meant for consumption. However Mikiko who cared about his health was quite keen at trying to shove them down his throat. Micheal started sweating nervously as his AT field started cracking as a crazy girl with brown hair and grren eyes tried every single way to shove the green poison in his mouth. Suddenly a loud howling was heard. "Did you hear that?" asked the angel. Mikiko, who noticed the angel's lapse in concentration got her chance and a spoon full of vegetables was down his throat before you can say, "Angels wearing pink tutus."  
  
~~~~~  
  
Zeruel and his friends were all laughing as they see his son getting the 'vege torture' from a TV like device. In the background you see the female angels sweatdropping as they witness how stupid angels can get. Meanwhile Israfel was dumping all the beer cans and pizza boxes into Leliel's shadow. "Hey! Israfel quit shoving rubbish down me!"  
  
"Sorry dude, but you know heaven is a litter free zone, so we got to improvise," was the reply from the angel of music.  
  
"Bad idea Israfel. Remember what happened when Leliel caught diarrihea?" asked Shamshiel. Israfel suddenly stopped and tried stuffing the rubbish under the carpet instead.  
  
"Hey! Iroul wanna see who can take over MicroSoft the fastest?" challenged Bardiel (in his virus form of course).  
  
"Bring it on!"  
  
Meanwhile in the corner Liliel, Almisael and Ramiel were discussing about which one of them is the strongest flying shape.   
  
"Sandalphon, don't try and drink any beer, you're too young," warned Sachiel. Sandalphon pouted.  
  
"But I'm older than Micheal," whined the angel in a girlish voice.  
  
"That's not much of an argument you know," said Sachiel while shaking a finger/claw.  
  
"Hmpf!"  
  
~~~~~  
  
Needless to say Shana won the race quiet easily. Shana then procceded out of the box and limped sleepily towards the Eva cage. Ignoring the Evas playing twister she got on Eva-01's head and fell asleep. Unknown to all Yui sighed sadly as she watched her son/daughter sleeping happily with a little puddle of drool.  
  
~~~~~  
  
This is all so far. I'm REALLY sorry about the update, but I had the exams and Shana was busy writing the other fics.   
  
OMAKE:  
  
Misato was given the day off today, so she did what she did everyday she had the day off... drink herself sensless. As she continued taking thirty years off her life the angel alarmed blarred on. 'Meh, can't be stuffed.'  
  
TV Presenter:  
  
"We have a report of a possible Godzilla entering Tokyo-3, but some peole are saying that Godzilla is not that ugly!"   
  
Outside:  
  
All the buildings went undeground in the familiar fashion as the 'angel' appeared. The 'angel' resembled Godzilla, because it looked like a dinosaur, but the resemblance stopped there. The purple and green monstrosity, known as Barny the dinosaur stopped as Eva-01 came up by the catapault. Once Eva-01 was released she pointed a finger at Barny.   
  
"There is only enough room for one giant purple and green monster," shouted Eva-01. Barny took a fighting stance as he heard the challenge. Eva-01 took a giant spoonful of vegetable and rushed Barny.  
  
"Vege torture!" shouted Eva-01 as she shoved the green stuff down Barny's throat. Barny exploded leaving a massive crater and in the middle was Eva-01 posing a victoy sign.  
  
Popeye never saw this coming! (Okay I couldn't think of a better catch phrase so don't kill me!) 


	16. author's notes

Sorry guys, but Alex can't post this week, because she is having another operation with her wrist. I can't write either since my exams are on Monday. We can assure you that we are not abandoning this fic (like that bastard Gendo... oh well the world can always use another target dummy) and the next chapter should be up by next week. 


	17. Meow?

I appreciate all your reviews (this sounds REALLY old, but I'm running out of ways to say thanks). Anyways I'm now going to answer some of your reviews. Okay Wolf Runner I know that Popeye thing was lame, but catch phrases are really hard to think of, especially about vegetables and two purple and green engines of doom. Why sleep on top of Eva1? Well this is my answer. #1 Its preety wide so I doubt you can roll of it (not trying to that is). #2 Anyone who tries and wake her up will be promptly faced with the wrath of Yui. #3 She was desperate. To Da Mazoku Puchuu: what the hell is the 'pimp hand'? Yes, Hououza, Shinji should be back in this chapter. And the angels will come back once again Dark-Titan, but in a way you might not expect ;). Anyways I have decided to cancel the last competition (the suprise one), but if you guys really want it, I will give it to you.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Disclaimer: look... you don't get it do you? Look at chapter one or I'll send Alphones to hunt you down! *plastic model falls on the ground*...oops. (Alphones is the name I gave to my model, since I don't like the original name, which was Gouf or something...)  
  
~~~~~  
  
"Soooo, Shana got your prize yet?" asked Asuka as inocent as possible... a little too innocent.  
  
"No Asuka, so quit asking me. Doc said it should be in my mailbox tomorrow," said Shana as she turned away from Asuka in the car hoping to catch some 'z's. This was short lived as Misato opened the door and popped in.  
  
"Hey kids put on your seatbelt, cause there's hardly anyone on the road tonight and I wanna go over two hundred." Shana and Asuka's facefaulted in horror and suddenly tried to take of their seatbelts and run from the four wheeled coffin. However Misato pressed a putton and all the door became locked. "YEEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"  
  
~~~~  
  
Rei Ayanami, the blue haired enigma was walking down the road with a list on her hand tittled, 'Ways to kill Katsuragi.' She read through all the possible ways to kill the back-stabbing major and crossed out the ones that won't work.   
  
'Hmmm, food poisoning? Nah! Her cooking was already listed as level nine bio-hazards in forty eight countrys.' As Rei crossed out the next one, Rei procceded onwards to read the next option, 'Bombing? Nope! If she survived the second impact and Eva-03's activation not to mention that N2 mine, I doubt a little TNT would do anything.' This option was crossed out. 'Car accident-' Her thoughts were interrupted when a loud engine from a certain blue car came barralling down the road, safely over two hundred kilometres per hour. A faint "Nooooooooooooooooooooooo," was heard from the car, but only for a moment, because of the car's high speed. Rei blinked and stood still for a second before crossing out the option.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Misato's car reached its destination in a record time, while breaking all the traffic laws and a few rules of physics. Leaving the wreakage of the car Asuka and Shana supported each other up to the apartment. Misato who was unaware of the condition of her charges skipped merrily to the elevator. 'That was SO cool, got to do it more often,' noted the major in her mind.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Asuka and Shana finally got into their apartment and sat down on the chairs while trying not to throw up. "Like I've said before. If we manage to fit the angels in Misato's car while she's driving, everything would be a lot more simple," said Asuka as she got up to get a glass of water to clear her dizziness. Shana's face suddenly turned greener if possible and ran into the bathroom to throw up... while poor Pen Pen was in there taking a bath.   
  
"Waaaaaaaarraaaaaaaaah! Ah I feel sick... oh sorry Pen Pen, didn't see you."  
  
"Wark," was the reply of the undignant (and smelly) penguin.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Yui was just finishing to some 'alterations' to tomorrow's experiment to change Shinji back. Eva-02 and 00 came into her cage holding a mat. "Hey Yui, want to play twister?" asked the red giant.  
  
"Sorry Kyoko, got work to do," replied Yui. Eva-02 looked over Eva-01's shoulder to see what she was writing. Two minutes later roaring laughter erupted from the Eva cages.  
  
"Curiousity killed the cat, Kyoko," said Eva-00. There was silence for three whole seconds before laughter once again filled the cages. (if you are REALLY bright, you might know what will happen)  
  
~~~~~  
  
"Tomorrow will be your last day to be a girl right?" asked Asuka in her too sweet voice again.  
  
'If she keeps that sweet voice thing up, I'm going to need an insulin injection,' thought Shana darkly as she tried (without success) to get some sleep. "Yea, hopfully," replied Shana as she tried to catch some sleep by ignoring the red-head. Just then a truly wicked grin appeared on Asuka's face.   
  
'Oh crap I don't want to die,' was the thought that ran through Shana's head at that moment.   
  
Asuka grinned a truly evil grin and grabbed hold of Shana's wrist before she could escape. "Lets make that day count," was all Asuka said while dragging (an unwilling) Shana into her room.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Dr Akagi was walking into Eva-01's lair to pick up the 'alterations' for Shana/Shinji's procedure for tomorrow. Looking into the room was the full sized figure of Eva-01 standing in all her glory in the middle of the cage. Walking a little closer, but not too close, Dr Akagi said, "Yui I'm here to pick up the modifications." Looking up, Ritsu noticed that the Eva didn't even moved an inch. After a long five minutes Ritsuko wearily walked up to the Eva and prodded it with her pen. Unexpectedly the pen went through the eva, creating a hole in the Eva feet. Terrified, Ritsuko watched as Eva-01 literally deflated and ended up like a pile of rubber on the ground. Walking closer to examine it she saw the words, '1/1 scale decoy'. Ritsuko exhaled a sigh of relief, since she would now wouldn't have to explain what happened to Eva-01 and most importantly Yui to Gendo. 'But where is she?' thought the fake blonde. As if someone heard her, a note floated down in front of her. 'Gone out to get some parts for the experiment, you should receive the modifications.' Rising an eye brow she looked around and sure enough no paper was insight. A faint whistling noise was heard by the doctor as she finished to look around the room. Concentrating on the sound she relised that it was getting louder and louder. Looking up the horrified scientist only had enough time to proccess the information before a huge stack of writing fell onto her.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Touji and Kensuke were sitting around a desk chatting to each other as any other day before school. They discussed matters that they usually chat about, school, Eva, teasing Shinji (if he is there) and most importantly girls. "Hey Kensuke, you know that Shana girl she is a real babe eh?" said Touji as he went over dramatic with his hands.  
  
"She sure is, I recon she is way better that that hellspawn, physically and mentally," added Kensuke. "But I'm not sure about something. Haven't you relised she looked WAY too much like Shinji and Rei?" said Kensuke in a hushed voice.  
  
"You are right! that is weird... speaking of Shinji have you heard of him lately? I'm growing concerned that Asuka might have done him in." Both boys bowed their head for a moment of silence as if he was really killed.  
  
"Well anyways, remember those photos of Asuka I sold?" Touji nodded, he remembered Kensuke raised enough money to buy a new camera.   
  
"Yea what about it?" said Touji in a hushed voice, so other people won't hear, mainly Hikari aka class rep. To answer his question Kensuke brought a even newer (and from the looks of it more expensive) camera.   
  
"I got even more money, selling her picture," said Kensuke with a happy grin. Rumaging in his bag once more he brought out his (slightly) older camera and chucked it at Touji, who caught it easily with one hand. "You can have mine, since you helped out last time." Touji smiled at his friend confused at whether he is gratified or offended.  
  
The door suddenly snapped open revealing Asuka and a VERY stunning Shana. Shana's hair was combed and pinned to make it look a little more organised, but ran along the lines of Yui's original hairstyle. Light make up was used on her face, along with eye liners making her blue eyes stand out even more. Asuka stood behind Shana with her hands on her hips proudly as she looked around the classroom's respones at her latest handywork. All the male student were drooling at an impossible rate, while their mind was liquified to a state simular to LCL. 'Yep perverted as usual,' thought Asuka. Walking into the room Shana caught sight of Kensuke and the new camera along with his (slightly) older one. Shana knew very well how he made the money to buy such an expensive piece of equipment and judging from the look in his eyes, Shana knew very well how he raised enough money to buy his newer (and more expensive) replacement. Narrowing her eyes she went up to Asuka and Hikari.  
  
"Ok Asuka and Hikari, listen up..."  
  
~~~~~   
  
Slayer: you know the plan right?  
  
Enforcer: sure do! I can't belief Kensuke and Touji will stoop so low  
  
Red Warrior: I told you they were perverts! But nooooooooo! everyone thought I was lying!  
  
Slayer: ^_^;  
  
Enforcer: ^_^;  
  
After Hikari's last comment on the chat room the bell rang signaling the start of lunch time. Most student moved out of the room, however Kensuke and Touji stayed in their, 'sniper's nest' as Kensuke dubbed it. Strangly enough Asuka, Hikari and Shana stayed with them. Even stranger still Hikari approached the 'idiot duo' with a jar in her hand. "Want a cookie?" asked Hikari in such a way that both males almost fainted.   
  
Touji was just about to put his hand in the jar when Kensuke intercepted it. "How do we know that the devil didn't put something in there?" asked Kensuke who narrowed his eyes.   
  
Hikari pretended to look hurt and said, "I thought you trusted me." Hikari now looked so sad and heartbroken that Touji (who has a HUGE crush on her) had to put his hand in.  
  
"Holy shit Touji what are you doing?" shouted Kensuke. Asuka saw what happened in the side lines and moved in for the kill. "Did anything bite you? Is there acid? Snake?" asked the four eyed otaku. Touji shook his head. However when Touji procceded to take his hands out, he found out much to his dismay, that he can't.  
  
" Try releasing the cookie stooge," sneering Asuka. Touji shook the jar at her in anger. Just then Asuka moved her hand and the jar impacted on Touji's face.  
  
"What did you do that for?!" shouted the jock. Seeing that the object of his affection there, he managed to control his anger.  
  
"Couldn't help it stooge," said Asuka while shrugging. After thirty seconds later as Touji still unsuccessfully tried to take off the offending object, Asuka spoke up, "Hey is that small writing I see on the jar?" while pointing at the jar. Being a little thick, Touji moved the jar closer to his head and Asuka once again slammed it into his skull. Unable to take anymore of this Touji walked angrily towards Asuka, who stood at the same spot calmly. Touji stopped however when Hikari gave him a disapproving look. "Does this smell like chocolate to you?" Unable to resist the urge of food, especially the sweet taste of chocolate, Touji moved the jar once again in front of his face (you can see Kensuke smaking his head at his friend's stupidity in the background). A loud 'smack!' was heard throughout the corridors.   
  
"Quit doing that!" shouted the angry jock who now has the shape of the jar imprinted into his face.  
  
"Get smarter" shouted the red-head.  
  
"Gotcha!" exclaimed Shana as she took out the photos covertly from Kensuke's bag.  
  
"Care to explain?" said Asuka and Shana as they tapped their foot on the ground.  
  
"And I also have it on video too,'' said Hikari who appeared out of nowhere with a cam corder.  
  
(their punishment will be revealed next chapter ;))  
  
~~~~~  
  
Asuka, Misato and Rei cautiously entered Shinji's (yes he's back now and check out what I have in stall for him;)) room. Miasto, having seen his 'alterations' couldn't belief her eyes at first, but after hearing Yui's side of the arguement, she also found it quiet amusing. Asuka and Rei has already seen him already off course and even though they found it weird and twisted at first, they also found it quite funny, especially now that Shinji is back to being Asuka's slave for a week. Shinji;s mumbling interrupted their thoughts and the three females rushed to Shinji's side. "Where am I?" asked Shinji in a weak and hoarse voice.  
  
"You are in the recovery room Shinji," answered Misato. "Look Shinji, something has happened. You want the good news first or the bad news first?"  
  
"Good," said Shinji who was too tired to worry about the bad news.  
  
Misato walked out the door and moments later she brought in Shana who was stepping into the room shyly. "It seemed that when you were being changed back, another body formed in the entry plug. Ristuko haven't made any statements yet." Shinji looked at his double with unblicking eyes, while Shana was nervous, because of Shinji's gaze.  
  
"So how did father take it?" asked Shinji.  
  
~~~Flashback~~~  
  
Only five minutes after the test, Gendo entered the Pribnow Box. "How did it go?" asked Gendo in his normal flat voice. Looking around Gendo could feel that the technicians and scientists were quite amused, but being Gendo he ignored it.   
  
"Go to the cages and see for youself," was the curt reply from the blonde. Gendo turned on his heels and walked towards the Eva's cage. A few moments later a loud suprised shout was heard soon followed by the sound of a body hitting the floor.  
  
~~~end flashback~~~  
  
"I believed that the last words Gendo heard before fainting was, 'congratulations, you have a a healthy baby girl' from Yui," said Misato with an amused expression on her face. "Plus I got it on tape," added Misato with a wink. Shinji smiled at Misato, Shinji was looking forward to seeing the tape. Looking back to Shana he noticed that she too has a small smile on her face.   
  
"I guess you're my sister, right?" asked Shinji. Shana nodded. Shinji smiled, "Welcome to the family." Shana smiled a large bright smile. "So, what is the bad news?" asked Shinji who now was facing Misato.   
  
"Well-" Shinji found his bed uncomfortable, because something was crushed on his back and when he pulled it...  
  
"ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR," shouted Shinji loud enough for the whole city to hear.  
  
"Maybe you should just lookin the mirror. It will probably explain things better," said Misato. Shinji stood up tenderly and walked up towards the mirror. In the mirror was #1 a shocked Shinji #2 a feline like tail #3 a pair of cute cat ears. Shock was an understatement as Shinji observed his 'alterations'. Unfortunatly Ritsuko chose to enter room at this moment...  
  
~~~~~  
  
Yay! Me done! Sorry about the long update, but I'm going to make it up to you by writing a Christmas special! Just a normal note is that the only changes were only a pair of cat ears and a cat tail NOTHING more! No super powers (except AT field and regeration thanks to Eva-01), just imagine Shinji with cat ears on his head (cat ears ain't that hard, because of the neural connectors...) and a tail! Anyways please review. 


	18. The Xmas party part I

Hey people! Sorry for the looooooooooooooong wait, but like I've promised you last chapter, that I'm giving you the Christmas special. Now before I start this chapter, I need to tell you guys something. The first thing is that I got out of the hospital three days ago. The second thing is that I didn't mean to treat Shinji like that, but I have a reason for it. While I was in the hospital, my parents brought a photo album along (I really don't know why they did that, but I think its one of those things parents do) and I found a particularly amusing photo. If you read my bio, you'll know that me and Henry go way back since we were kids and that we go to the same school together since we were two. Now the photo was taken when we were in kindergarten during halloween. In the photo was Henry (of course), with strap on cat ears, while playing pull the tail (if you haven't played it before, it is a children's game where you shove a piece of rope in you pants and everyone tries to pull it off you, while trying not to get your 'tail' pulled in the same time). It was SO cute that I couldn't help putting it in my story.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Evangelion  
  
~~~~~  
  
Ok, I'm skipping out the part where Ritsuko and Yui explain their actions, but I'll put it two chapters later.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Gruggily, Shinji woke up and looked around his room. His clocked reads 5:00 pm with a greenish glow. Sighing and yawning gently he got up got dressed and decided to take a shower before making breakfast. 'Maybe if I make it early enough she won't start shouting,' thought Shinji as he turned on the shower. Even though Asuka have declared her feelings for him, she was still rather demanding. Carefully he washed his hair while trying not to get water in his new ears. Shinji frowned, he could still remember the school day when he came in with them.  
  
~~~Flashback~~~  
  
Shinji was one of those people who doesn't like to be late, but it seemed like today was one of those days where being late was unavoidable. Since Shinji was back to normal, it meant that he was once again in Asuka's whim from the bet. He was wearing a cap on his head. Although it was uncomfortable it hid his new ears well (his tail was tucked into his pants and shirt). Rushing to school while trying to carry Asuka's school bag as well as his own was tiring, but he finally made it to school. With his luck holding, he managed to rush into his classroom within five minutes before the bell rang. Exhaling a breath he was unaware of holding, Shinji ran to his seat where he dropped the bags and sat on his seat where he fell into blissful slumber. His moment of peace however was shattered by a female voice. A red-headed German voice to be excact. "Hey Shinji," said Asuka in her ultra cute voice. Moving a little so that he could see Asuka with his eyes, he saw that she had her evil trademark smirk on her face. "Say Shinji, nice hat," Asuka whispered into his ear. Suddenly Shinji bolted upright, his face white with fear.  
  
"Asuka please, I beg you don't-"  
  
"Take off your hat to show your kawaii ears?" interrupted Asuka. Shinji nodded meekly. Asuka narrowed her eyes and looked at Shinji straight into his eyes. After one minute, which seemed like eternity to Shinji, Asuka smiled one of her bright cheerful smiles and tapped Shinji on the nose. "Ok, but I expect a good dinner tonight." With that she walked off, but not without a evil plan in her mind. 'I may love the baka, but I still enjoy teasing him as much as the next guy,' Asuka thought as she sat down on her seat, at the excact same time the ball rang.  
  
As usual the teacher walked in and as usual the student automatically tuned out off 'Boredom FM'. However when he read the roll he said something of interest.  
  
"It seems here that Rei Ayanami's and Shana Akiri's sirnames are now Ikari." All the students eyes were averted towards Shinji, who was started to sweat nervously. However the teacher spoke up again and thus in the first time in the history of man, that the student actually listened. "It says here that they are now... siblings." The old teacher rised an eyebrow while reading this. As if this was the cue, Shana and Rei stepped through the door. Instantly all eyes were focused on them. Rei, who was used to this just stood there, but Shana, who was more like Shinji, started fidgeting nervously. Silently the pair walked down the aisle of tables. Shockingly Rei sat on the left of Shinji instead of her usual 'window seat'. Even more suprising was that before Rie sat down, she hugged Shinji and smiled. As if a miniture second impact exploded in the room, students were knocked back, fainted and muttering about the end of the world. In one corner a student was pointing a cross at Rei while muttering, "And lo, I looked on as he opened the sixth seal, and there was a great quake. The sun became as sackcloth and the moon as blood. The seas boiled and the skies fell...''  
  
~~~end flashback~~~  
  
Shinji sighed contently as he soaked in the warm water of the bath. It was good that Asuka was not up already, his ears were more sensitive and a screaming red-head does not help. He let out another content sigh before sinking back in thought of that day.  
  
~~~Flashback~~~  
  
After the little 'incident' class went on as usual, although half the class were in hospital treated for shock. A window appeared on the computer inviting to a chat room.  
  
PurpleGaurdian: Hi Shinji!  
  
CoolBlue: Hey mom  
  
PurpleGaurdian: How did you like your suprise! You are now brothers and sisters! Don't worry about Rei, I know all about it. I knew Gendo's parents never let him have goldfishes for a pet, but I never knew he would go that far...  
  
CoolBlue: Wow thanks mom, but how did you do it?  
  
PurpleGuardian: Don't worry son, I owe you that after that little... 'thing'. As for how I did it, I had to ask your father. He was pretty stubborn, but I eventually 'convinced' him.  
  
CoolBlue: Convince?  
  
PurpleGuardian: Well... lets just say that pushing his glasses up is the last thing he wants to do right now...  
  
Shinji was quite amused now, it had been a long time since someone gave him what he deserved. The last time that happened his desk became ground zero for Misato's verbal attacks. Kozo just left the room contemplating how Gendo would regret making his room sound proof. Looking up Shinji noticed that the teacher was sound asleep. 'So those sound reflectors that we installed on the covers of our computers do work,' Shinji said to himself. Once again his laptop beeped informing him another incoming messege.   
  
AngelGirl: Hey bro!  
  
SnowQueen: Hello onisan  
  
CoolBlue: hi  
  
'Shana must have had a major discussion with Rei, I've never saw her this...active before,' thought Shinji. Eversince Shana moved into Rei's apartment, Rei had been becoming more...human. Of course Shana's bubbly attitute had a major factor in it, although she still acts a lot like him.  
  
AngelGirl: Did you get the notice?  
  
CoolBlue: Notice?  
  
AngelGirl: Yea the one about the parent interview in two days time. I can't wait to see father's reaction  
  
CoolBlue: What makes you think that father will come to that meeting?  
  
SnowQueen: I doubt father will want mother to 'convince' him again  
  
Shinji cocked an eyebrow, 'Did Rei just crack a joke?'  
  
AngelGirl: Anyways father must feel pissed off right now  
  
CoolBlue: Why?  
  
SnowQueen: Have you not noticed that he is the only Ikari that is unable to generate an AT field?  
  
~~~end flashback~~~  
  
After the warm and relaxing bath, Shinji dressed him self in his normal clothing, which was his white shirt and black slacks. Until they get him back to normal, he will have to wear a hat outside. However the ears were not as troublesome as his tail, which sometimes seemed to have a mind of its own. Humming a tune from his SDAT, Shinji put on his apron and went to the kitchen. It was a good thing Shinji enjoyed cooking or they would be dead right now. Misato's cooking was ample enough to knock out an angel, in fact the UN even got their hands on her 'curry suprise' recipe and used it in their chemical bombs. Asuka doesn't cook a lot and the last time she did, the apartment resembled something from the movie Aliens when they got back (Everyone stayed away from Pen Pen in fear that something may pop out of it after they found him in a strange web). As Shinji made pancakes, he thought back to that day again.  
  
~~~Flashback~~~  
  
Lunch was normal enough. After Asuka remodeled Touji's face with a cookie jar, the two of the three stooges were staying as far from her as possible. Shinji however was doomed to stay with Asuka, who was smiling contently at herself for an unknown reason.  
  
~~~Flashback(is there such a thing as a flashback within a flashback?)~~~  
  
Asuka knew very clearly why Shinji was wearing that cap and as much as Asuka wanted to knock that cap off him, she can't... but she could always find someone who can. Going on the student chat room, Asuka opened a chat window to the class rep Hikari.  
  
RedDesire: Hey Hikari, are caps allowed in schools?  
  
Enforcer: No, why?  
  
RedDesire: Look at Ikari  
  
Sure enough Hikari looked over to Shinji's desk and she saw Shinji's black cap.  
  
Enforcer: I'll get him at lunch time  
  
Smiling to herself inwardly with satisfaction, Asuka closed her laptop and went to sleep.  
  
~~~end of the flashback within a flashback~~~  
  
Noticing a incoming shadow, Shinji looked back. Behind him was Hikari, who was in her 'you-are-in-big-trouble-minster' stance (the one where she wears an angry look on her face while her hands are on her hips). Shinji gulped when he saw her, she was the last person he wanted to see. "Do you know caps are not part of the school uniform Mr Ikari?" lectured the class rep. Shinji was desperate, he was searching through his mind for ANYTHING that would prevent his hat from leaving his head. Finally he found his answer. Shinji looked Hikari in the eyes, then procceded to imitate one of Asuka's ultra kawaii puppy face looks. 'Damn he looks so cute,' thought Hikari, whose mind was melting. 'No... must remember the (class rep) force...yes... stand, bow, sit...yes, must not give in to the dark side...' To Shinji's dismay Hikari closed her eyes and swiped Shinji's hat off as though her was in some sort of a bazzare martial arts movie. Hikari literally facefaulted as she saw the ears. "Ok Mr Ikari, THAT is definitly not part of the school uniform, take it off NOW!"  
  
"I-I can't," said Shinji who was sweating nervously from the intense gaze of the class rep.  
  
"And why was that?" asked Hikari as she leaned over, while her hands were still on her hips. Luckily Shinji, who by now knows about his usual bad luck, has a backup plan. A note. Reaching for the note, Hikari read it. Silence. Shinji was sitting on his desk, nervously awaiting the class reps verdict. Slowly but surely Hikari's face looked up from the sheet of paper. If it was possible, Shinji grew more nervous from Hikari's curious gaze. Her hands reached out slowly, Shinji knew what she was going to do and grew even more edgey, one of his ears started twitching from the stress. Hikari stretched one finger out and delicatly poked one of his ears. She repeated this again, but with more determination. She did it again and again until she started patting it as though he was some sort of a cat. Shinji blushed from the contact. Meanwhile in the background you could see Asuka laughing her ass off. "Kawaii," whispered Hikari as she patted the soft brown fur.  
  
"Hikari, could you please keep it a secret?" asked Shinji who was blushing furiously at the same time.  
  
"Ok," said Hikari as she stopped and blushed as well when she relised what she was doing. Unforntunatly a group of girls just came into the classroom.  
  
~~~end flashback~~~  
  
Shinji sighed sadly as flipped the pancake. He could remember a huge group of girls surrounding him and started asking him questions such as, 'Can I touch your ears?', 'Will you go out with me?' etc. It got even worse when his tail made an appearance. However things got to the peak when someone in the background (it was actually Asuka, but Shinji didn't know) asked him to say 'meow'. Shinji winced from the memory. After that day he had to tie a ice bag on his tail and put bruise balm on his left ear for three days. And when Shana and Rei saw what was going on in the classroom, he could have sworn Rei started laughing and ran off to hide it. A yawn behind him indicated Asuka's arrival. "Hey Asuka," said Shinji without looking away as he prepared the table.  
  
"Morning Shinji," said Asuka as she sat down on the table. "What's for breakfast?"  
  
"Pancakes with maple syrup," answered Shinji. As if on cue, Misato made her appearance.  
  
"Did I hear pancake?'' said Misato between a yawn. The question was then answered as Shinji walked out with a huge stack of pancakes. Misato and Asuka's eyes looked at the food hungrily.   
  
"Merry Christmas," said Shinji as he laid the food on the table.  
  
"Merry Christmas Shinji," said Asuka before attacking the pancakes. Shinji looked back where Misato was.  
  
'Where did she go?' Shinji asked himself. Just then Shinji felt something on his head.  
  
"Merry Christmas Shinji," said a cheerful Misato as she shoved the Santa hat onto an unwilling Shinji's head. "Hey you look pretty good with it," commented Misato.  
  
"Really?" asked Shinji who was blushing slightly.  
  
"Breakfast is getting cold," mumbled Asuka.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Meanwhile in the commander's office a lone figure stood behind the desk. Even after the commander was hospitalised, the sub-commander still could sit on that seat. However right now he was faced with a cruel choise. Should he post the picture where Gendo was out cold from the little suprise (complete with swirly eyes) or the Gendo getting pulverised by angry wife picture for the piture of the week.   
  
~~~~~~  
  
In the NERV Eva cages, the Evas too are making the most of Christmas. Yui was making roast Ramiel and mash Shamshiel for an Eva Christmas feast. The rest of them where in charge of decorations. Suddenly the MP Evas appeared. "We finally got that new paint job!" exclaimed the MP Evas. "Since its Christmas we got a new colour theme!" If Misato was there she would have said that they look like an overblown version of the PowerRangers.   
  
"You do relised that they used 100 year paint this time," said Kyoko as she was setting up a gaint Mistletoe (lets hope no one ever goes under it).   
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Its called 100 year paint, because it suppose to last for a 100 years." The jaws on the Mp Evas literally came crashing down on the ground.  
  
'Hmm, the Materiel needs more salt,' thought Yui. 'This must be one of the most normal Christmas ever,' thought the purple gaint. 'Well at least as normal as it can get,' added Yui as she witnessed Eva-00 tripped over from one of the decorations.  
  
~~~Flashback~~~  
  
It was Christmas in the Ikari household and Yui was making a delicious Christmas dinner. In a corner Shinji was playing with his toy cars while making crazy sound effects for them. The door opened and in the doorway stood Santa. "Hohoho," exclaimed Santa (who was really Gendo in a suit).  
  
"Is it really you Santa?" asked a curious Shinji.  
  
"Off course," said Gendo as cheerful as possible.  
  
"Is that belly real?" asked Shinji again.  
  
"Off course," said Santa/Gendo. 'He thinks I'm going to fall for that trick with the belly, Shinji thinks he is too smart for his own good' mused Gendo in his mind as he patted his fake belly with shock absorbers installed in it in case Shinji decides to punch it. 'Nothing ruins the 'Christmas Senario',' Gendo bragged in his mind. However Shinji had other ideas. Pulling from his pocket was a 9mm pistol. The one that Gendo always carries with him.  
  
"Daddy said Santa is so fat that bullets can't hurt him," said Shinji in an inncoent tone which made the particular scene even more scary.  
  
'Shit! I didn't think he took that seriously! I knew I should have listened to Yui and put the gun somewhere safe!' Gendo started panicing.  
  
BANG!  
  
'Pain!' thought Gendo as he blacked out.  
  
~~~end flashback~~~  
  
'At least Gendo still have one of his 'marbles' left,' thought Yui as she finished cooking her honey glazed Materiel. Driving a progressive fork into it, Yui took a sample. 'Perfect.'  
  
~~~~~  
  
"So now I have to wear this for the party?" asked Ritsuko with a cocked eyebrow. The three bridge bunnies nodded.  
  
"You see its like you're santa and we are your helpers,'' said Maya cheerfully in a skimpy elf costume. Looking behind her Ritsuko could see the rest of the bridge bunnies in male versions of the costume. Then looking back at her equally skimpy santa costume, Ristuko sighed.   
  
"What the heck..."  
  
~~~~~  
  
In heaven Christmas was a full blown party. Everyone was wearing a party hat (or absorbed in Liliel's case) and were enjoying them selves. In a corner, Zureal and Areal were having a discussion. "Is it just me or do liliums think that angels sing 24/7?" said Zureal as he sipped his eggnogg (spelling?). Areal merely shrugged.   
  
"Lilums, who knows what they think."  
  
~~~~~  
  
The sub-commander was in his room, standing as usual. However a circle of soldiers surrounding him was anything but. "You know why we are here," said one of the soldier. He nodded to one man who later pulled out a Santa costume. "Suit up."  
  
"What about Gendo?" asked the aging man.  
  
"He did a re-run of Die Hard and he was shouting about losing his last marble," said the soldier dryly.  
  
"...yes..."  
  
~~~~~  
  
Shinji, Asuka and Misato were walking into the command centre were the party was held. On the way they met Gendo who ran away at the sight of Shinji. "I thought the commander made amends with you?" said Misato who flicked the little puff ball on Shinji's Santa hat. Shinji frowned and shrugged.   
  
"Come on baka," said Asuka as sdhe dragged Shinji to the nearest mistletoe (hopefully not the giant one in the EVA cage).  
  
~~~~~  
  
Gendo was in a random corner of NERV. He was hiding from something, namely anything that looks like Santa or Shinji. It was then Rei and Shana made their appearance. From her pocket Rei pulled out a pistol. Gendo started trembling noticably. Rei fired. Gendo blacked out. Unstead of a bullet, water came out instead. Rei shot the water at the commander's 'area' then procceded to pull out a camera.   
  
"Say Santa," said Rei in monotone as she took a photo.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Meanwhile in the MP Eva's hanger, Misato was leering at the unfortunate bio-mechanical Evangelions.  
  
"Sooo, how do you feel being oversized M&Ms?" asked Misato.  
  
"Hey!"  
  
"Its true you know," teased Misato.  
  
"Say Katsuragi, you want to go under a mistletoe together?" asked Kaji who was trying to defuse the situation.  
  
"Look Kaji, you are an Eva, dumbass. And if I have a mistleFOOT it will be in you ass."  
  
They gulped.  
  
~~~1 hour later~~~  
  
In the Eva cages the Evas were enjpyong a nice game of March and Conquer. Eva-01 who has a gigantic Santa hat on her horn decides to attack Eva-00, while munching of Materiel. "Hey quit ganging up on me!" shouted the blue cyclopes.  
  
"What makes you think I am?" asked Yui.  
  
"You are tapping morse code on my foot."   
  
~~~~~  
  
Well that's part one of it. Please review. 


	19. Another authors note OH IN THE LOVE OF G...

Oh god, I'm probably going to hell for this (god nodds grimly in heaven), but I can't post the next chapter for ALL my stories for at least another three weeks. Why? I have a perfectly good reason... SOME ASS HOLE INFECTED MY COMPUTER WITH A FREAKIN VIRUS...I feel better now with it out of my system. Anyways My comouter is in the shop so its hard drive could be re-written. I am truly and very sorry to anyone who was looking forward to an update to any of my stories.  
  
PS I am going ahead with my LoTR/Eva crossover for those who are interested. 


End file.
